Reversed Cliche
by Larania Drake
Summary: Sequel to Disjointed Portrayal. AU, genderswitch. Edward returns two years after CoS, and comes home to a big surprise.
1. Chapter 1

Reversed cliché

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

A/N: There are a lot of fics involving Roy Mustang leaving and coming back to find Edward with his child. Okay… well, considering that it IS canon that Edward leaves for at least two years and then leaves again, I wanted to try the reverse idea. I've got a semi decent reason for why it happened, too. I am thinking it may be the AU-cracked out sequel to Disjointed Portrayal.

Edward Elric had been away for a long time. Four years, to be exact. In those years he had returned once… and had to leave again to destroy the Uranium bomb. They had succeeded, destroying it…

And here he was, standing in front of what had to be the most god forsaken place in the whole of Amestris.

It was snowing, still. The penetrating cold seeped up through his automail and into his joints, making it nearly impossible to move. He wondered, as he lifted his metal fist to clack dully against the heavy oak door, if he had the address wrong. Then he shook his head. This was the only building for _miles_. There was nothing for him to mistake it with. There were no other habitations this far out outside of a village about ten miles away. No one would be sane enough to-

The heavy door opened as he lifted his hand to knock again, and he opened his mouth to deliver the scathing, harsh greeting he had spent the last two months since his return home chewing on. He had been in Risembool, catching up on the last four years… and they had told him that the General was still out there. Even after saving Central almost single handedly…

He was pissed. The man (Woman? Edward still thought of Mustang firmly as _he_ even after… that…) had been stuck here for the past three years, apparently, and wasn't moving. He'd done _nothing, _and Edward was worried.

He didn't want to admit it to anyone, least of all himself. When they had last seen each other, after they had both headed to their respective fates- and he knew for a fact that Mustang hadn't expected to return alive. Considering that not only had "his" body reverted to female, his best friend dead, and he had thrown aside his goal of becoming Fuhrer… Edward knew Mustang had no intention of surviving.

Survive he had, and Edward wanted to see him.

And Edward was still God's bitch, because he was looking _down_, not up, at a small dark head next to a large sheep dog.

"Mama!"

Edward stopped, totally nonplused as the child ran through the door, wrapping her arms around his middle and squeezing for all she was worth and making his ribs creak.

"I was worried Mama! You said you wouldn't be gone long and it's _dark_ now! I was so scared! You said it wouldn't take long at all! You always keep your promises and- and-"

The small face pulled away from Edward, giving him the most peculiar look.

"You're not Mama."

He had to be in the wrong place. That was all there was to it.

"Uh, no… I'm not your mama. I was actually out here looking for someone. Uh, tall, dark, good looking, er… has an eye patch." Edward knew he was in the wrong place.

"Mama should be back soon," the little girl muttered, wide dark eyes looking up into his with the innocence only Alphonse could match, and Edward's gut lurched. "She always tells the truth… even if it's not what I want to hear."

Edward blinked, and looked down at her. Her face looked remarkably familiar, even if he couldn't place it. "May I stay here? Until your mama gets back?"

The little girl smiled and nodded, opening the door a little wider… and the large dog promptly pounced, knocking Edward backwards into the snow.

"Bad Bradley! You shouldn't do that!" the girl scolded, grabbing the dog's ears and pulling him back from ecstatically licking Ed's face. The girl seemed to be having about the same luck as Edward controlling the happy dog, because the licking refused to stop.

"Damn mutt!"

"Bradley! Stop it!"

The battle between human and beast continued on, for what seemed like eternity (five minutes) when they were interrupted by the neighing of a horse, and voices calling a name.

"Sara? You all right, girl?" a countrified voice called, as a cart wheeled up the path through the weakening storm. "We're sorry young'un," the man said, jumping down and running over to check. "It shouldn'ta takin as long as it did." There was another man there, sitting in the back of the wagon with a dark figure wrapped up in a heavy coat and blankets.

"Who're you?" they asked in unison, catching sight of the pinned and slobbered on Edward.

"Uh." This was unexpected. Edward had thought he would be having a shouting match with his former rival and nemesis (and maybe something more) when he had gotten to this forsaken frozen hell. Not meet up with a girl and her mother.

"I'm looking for Roy Mustang," Ed finally said, finding words that made sense. "I was told he was stationed here, but-"

"Oh, well, we got 'im. Bit banged up- there was an avalanche today and someone recalled he was an alchemist, and he cleared the pass. Wasn't supposed to take more than an hour or so, wasn't far from here. But then another one caught us, he banged his head and broke his wrist. We had to patch him up and the nearest doctor was in town," the old geezer said, giving Edward a toothless smile. Edward smiled weakly back. "We had someone check on Sara and we brought him back cause he wouldn't leave his girl here. Stupid man needs someone to watch him, keep walking him up tonight." The man scowled down at the bundled body in the back of the wagon. "I was gonna, but if you're here to visit, you could do it."

Ed paused. Blinked. Opened and shut his mouth a few times. "Is he okay?"

"He'll be okay if someone watches-"

"Stop talking as if I'm not here," a familiar, deep (but somehow different) voice interrupted them. There was a hiss and the bundle moved, edging its way to the end of the wagon, and Edward got to his feet and trotted over without thinking about it.

The face was the same as he had left it when he had returned to the other world. It was half covered with a large black patch, dressed in the uniform of an enlisted man.

And his eyes picked out the details from when he had seen _her_ before that, dressed in a women's suit and on her way to kill their former Fuhrer. Slight, vague differences, but none the less there were present on Mustang's face, and Ed felt a strange pang at the sight. He really wanted to get the whole story, he really did…

Sara, the girl he had been talking two, shrieked in glee and ran to Mustang, flinging herself at Roy and babbling incoherently. It caused another hiss as the girl banged into his sling, causing her to pull back, before Mustang smiled awkwardly and patted Sara's hair with his other hand and tried to get out of the cart.

It wasn't entirely successful- the moment he landed on his feet he swayed, like the wind was just too strong and about to blow him over. Edward jumped under his arm good arm before he thought, shoring Mustang up. The weight against him was heavy- damn Mustang for still being taller- but the body itself was thinner than he remembered. Mostly bone, it seemed… somehow that worried Edward more than it should have.

Why the hell was he suddenly so very worried as Roy leaned on him?

Why the hell did he enjoy it so much to have Roy leaning on him?

He couldn't even come up with a smart mouthed reply as he waited for the horse cart to start off, and he felt Mustang make a move to the small outpost building. No more words were spoken from the adults- the little girl supplied enough on her own, babbling continuously on how her day had gone, on what she had done when Mama was away and…

Edward was more than grateful to get into shelter- the cold was trying to eat him alive, it seemed.

Sara ran in before them, along with Bradley (And Edward inwardly sniggered about the name) and got another blanket.

"Right here!" the girl ordered imperiously, without any doubt she would be obeyed. Edward snorted. Did Mustang have a niece? She certainly could pass for that. Hell… she could have passed for…

He stopped that thought, because the girl was talking again.

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked, climbing up on the bed as Edward deposited the silent Mustang in his designated place and taking his face between her tiny hands, looking worried. Edward felt a smile tugging at his lips as Mustang nodded, weariness making him sag.

The girl nodded and snuggled against Roy's side, the one with the uninjured wrist.

"Fullmetal," Roy finally said, not looking at Edward, but sounding almost drunk and Edward was reminded of the bump on the head. "Before I ask what the devil you are doing here, there's bread, cheese and cold sausage on the table if Bradley hasn't eaten it. Have you had supper, Sara?" he asked the child, who looked sheepish.

"There's no cheese left…"

"Ah. So you have."

The girl laughed, and the familiarity of that laugh made chills run down Edward's spine… he just couldn't remember where he had heard it before. Somehow it reminded him of Alphonse's laugh but not quite.

Sighing, the little girl draped herself over Mustang, wiggling and getting comfortable and ignoring Mustang's grunts of discomfort as she moved.

"Enough of that," he said quietly, and Sara rolled her eyes. To Ed's surprise she flopped back on the bed, and then wiggled around to put her head on Mustang's lap.

"Will you sing for me?" she asked, loading the question with her worries of Mustang being back and all right, and wanting reassurance. Mustang, even if he wasn't feeling well, nodded and began to hum, before opening his mouth to murmur words of Xing.

This was getting more than a bit surreal. Edward just sat and watched, noting that the scene was so very domestic. Then he had to wonder exactly where Sara had come from… but that shouldn't have been too hard. Now that she was right up _against_ Mustang, it was fairly obvious that she had to be related, somehow. Black hair and almost black eyes were not common in Amestris. His child, perhaps?

That set off a number of ambiguous feelings in Edward's gut, wondering exactly when Mustang would have had time to get some woman pregnant. Sara's age was sending off some alarm bells in his mind… but what they were for, he didn't know. Of course, considering that the last time Mustang had been male…

Had he become male again?

Ed's eyes drifted over Mustang's body, trying to figure out what seemed so off, other than the broken bones, the eye patch (and he wanted to hear _that_ story) and the fact that…

"What's wrong, Fullmetal?" Mustang asked, noticing Edward's gaze. Ed winced, looking away.

"Just wondering where the kid came from," he mumbled, looking away, and he could very nearly feel the droll amusement in Mustang's good eye. "And the eye patch, and why the hell you are still out here after all these years… dammit, General," and here Ed finally managed to get back to his original intent to chew Mustang out at whatever cost. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I came from my _Mama_ of course," Sara answered, in Mustang's favored talking-down-to-the-stupid-person voice and tilting her face to Ed's. "And an avalanche happened, Mr. Fullmetal."

Edward twitched, looking down at the girl and lifting an eyebrow. "Kid, it's more than that."

"Well, I don't know you, and you're being mean."

Gold eyes met dark, nearly black ones, and Edward had the strangest feeling he was glaring at someone he knew again. Only the expression wasn't Alphonse's this time- it was someone else's. She raised her hackles protectively, in a way that seemed some insanely familiar- and she was just as quickly soothed by Mustang's uninjured hand on her back.

"Sara, love… It's late. You need sleep. Mr. Fullmetal and I need to talk about a few things and you don't need to hear them yet. Its old, old history stuff, from before you were born. So, be a good girl- and you can even let Bradley share the bed with you, okay?"

Sara considered this carefully before nodding. "Sing to me again?" she asked, sealing the bargain. She clearly wanted to stay awake, but Ed could see the rings under her eyes. It had been a long day and it was past her bedtime.

Ed sat back for a moment to watch as Mustang peeled back the covers, and Sara crawled under them with the dog following quickly and squirming into place. All of this was accompanied by a soft lilt, the words sung in Xingian.

Sara's heavy eyes closed as she curled up against her large dog, yet still sprawling across the bed and taking up more space than any human conceivably could. Edward grinned. She reminded him of what Ed had been told about himself when he slept.

"I didn't know you spoke Xingian," Ed asked, looking at Mustang and the little girl. He was at something of a loss as to what to do. "But considering how you look, it shouldn't surprise me."

"My mother was from Xing," Roy murmured. "I don't remember much of the language, but I remember what she sang to me."

Edward winced. It was a loaded statement, somehow.

"About the kid? What girl did you manage to knock up? When did you have the-"

The incredulous, completely pole-axed expression on Mustang's face stopped Edward cold, reaching up to scratch his scalp self consciously.

"You really think that?" Mustang said, his jaw actually dropping, before giving him a flat look, considering something.

The quiet stretched for a moment. "Ed, help me get my uniform off. I am not sleeping in this thing- it stinks and I can't move my wrist."

"Hey, you can't order me around anymore," Ed protested, even as he got up to help Mustang to his feet. He quite easily remembered helping Mustang out of _her_ clothes that one time, and…

He was blushing even as he straightened Mustang's arm, pulling off the sling that held his arm in place, then working at the overly complicated buttons and peeling it off Roy's shoulders and arms. Mustang fumbled, left-handed, with the white button down shirt underneath for a moment while Ed wadded up the blue uniform jacket and tossed it into a corner.

Ed looked back over at Mustang, who was swaying like he was drunk, before helping Roy sit back down.

"You really shouldn't be doing much," Ed said, finally letting himself act concerned. "Cause… well, maybe you should let me…"

"Just get the bloody thing off me," Roy growled, and Ed flinched. The tone was… different. Not just angry, but sounding like Winry when she was pissed off.

Ed obeyed.

The white shirt opened, revealing… a corset. It bound a pair of perfectly female breasts, and Mustang went to the ties and loosened them up, while taking a deep, relieved breath.

Edward's hands dropped, eyes fixing on the cleavage. "You got bigger."

"Pregnancy will do that."

"You're Mama." His tone was flat, bald, and incredulous.

"Yes." Roy's voice had dropped all pretexts at a male tone, even though the words were the same. Not that it lightened- much- but it matched what Edward remembered from _then_. The room swam before Ed's eyes as it finally sank in what Mustang was telling him: that Roy Mustang was a _mother_. That Sara, yes, was her daughter…

"And you…"

"Yes," and Ed looked up to see a strange smile on Mustang's face. His eyes then tried to drop back to Roy's cleavage, but stopped when he saw the scars on her shoulder. Edward reached out, touching the thick cord of tissue and the smaller ones covering her flesh.

"I was afraid you had died," Ed mumbled. "I didn't let myself think about it, when I was in the other world. Not until I saw Fritz Long and thought he was Fuhrer Bradley. Then I felt sick. I didn't want to let myself be worried about you, you- what do I call you now? B-"

Roy slapped her hand over Ed's mouth. "Call me Roy if you must, or if you want to, Renee. But no cussing in front of my daughter."

Ed glared, but he understood the sentiment. "All right, General." Anything to get under the ba- bitc- the General's skin. The woman rolled her good eye, understanding completely. Then Ed's eyes dropped back to the scars.

"I'm glad you didn't die, Mustang."

There was silence for a moment, and Roy self consciously tugged her shirt over her chest with the one hand. "Same here. When I think about it, it was a miracle I didn't miscarry. I had so much blood loss," she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Sara is as stubborn as her father. Or his seed is as stubborn as the rest of him."

Ed paused, knowing that the question was awkward, but… he really did want to know. It made him feel weird. His mind skirted away from something big and obvious because it just wasn't possible. Nope. He didn't even know what was staring him in the face because he couldn't see it.

"Who's her father?"

The reaction to the question was much the same now as it was before. Slack jawed surprise, but this time she added a lifted eyebrow. Then she chuckled.

"Let's see if you can figure it out."

Then Ed knew he was not going to like the answer.

"Sara had her third birthday three months ago. How long since you first left?"

Ed was blank. "Uh, just about four years…"

"Do the math. I'm going to sleep. Check about every hour to make sure I'm breathing," Roy murmured, swaying back towards the bed and sitting down. "When you have your panic attack, do it quietly so you won't wake Sara up."

With that, Roy laid down, taking up what space was left on the bed and stretching out.

So… that meant what? That Sara was Havoc's?

No way.

When he figured this out, he was going to shake Mustang until her teeth rattled.

To be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

Reversed Cliché 2

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

Warnings: Genderswitch, post pregnancy and Edward being oblivious.

Pairings: Roy and Ed, others mentioned

A/N: I am writing this because, right now, I don't wanna think too deeply and this is fairly easy. Hopefully at least fun to read.

Edward grumbled. It was just like Mustang, that even after four years, a sex change and a baby later, to be mysterious. What exactly was he going to figure out from that information? He knew he'd been gone four years. So, Sara was just a little over three years old? What did that mean?

He took a deep breath and tried to think about things objectively. Mustang was obviously trying to get some kind of point across, which was why she wasn't just saying who it was. He was not going to be happy about it, that much he could tell. So, what was he able to deduce from what Mustang had told him?

The question: Who was Sara's father?

Sara was three and some change. Babies take nine months to develop in the womb. (Mustang with a womb… The idea made Edward shudder.)Therefore, Mustang would have to have gotten laid by some guy about four years ago.

Edward rolled over, rubbing his scalp and not wanting to look over at Mustang wrapped protectively around her child. The idea of her having slept with anyone else… It made him jealous and confused, not to mention-

Well, the memory of their one time together- which had started out as an argument and Ed wanting to show Mustang that she _did_ have something to live for, even if it was just herself and to shake her out of her suicide mission- had been one of the things he had clung to while away. Partially because he had found out that Mustang had _never_ had sex as a woman before and…

His thoughts careened to a stop, crashing against the wall of logic that had finally appeared. Mustang had been a virgin- at least in the sense that she had never slept with anyone in that body before (though Ed knew full well that Mustang as a man was anything but) and that had been a surprise to Mustang more than him. He also knew that Mustang had immediately gone off to kill Pride afterwards and…

What, sleep with some other guy? That didn't make sense and there was no way-

-no way at all-

A fist grabbed Ed's heart, crushing it and shoving around a fair number of his other internal organs. The words were right there, but he didn't want to think them. Yet as soon as the possibility existed, he had to acknowledge it. Mustang wouldn't have out and out told him- Edward would never have believed that way.

Sitting up slowly, Edward felt the blood drain from his face as his chest loosened up enough to let his heart race. The little girl's face was turned towards him, and he saw what he hadn't seen earlier. His mouth, his nose, his eyes were all sitting on her face. She was sprawled exactly like he would, but she definitely had a touch of Roy's attitude about her. Some of her grace, as well.

Sara, cute little girl, exactly the right age, and not reminding him of Alphonse, but of himself, was…

"My daughter," Ed whispered, and the world spun off its axis.

* * *

Roy Mustang (still Roy, she'd been Roy over half her life and still thought of herself as "Roy" even after becoming female again) hadn't really fallen asleep when she had lain down, even though she desperately wanted to let herself drift off. Her head ached and her wrist throbbed even after that retched tea the doctor in town had given her for the pain, and she really wanted a shot of whiskey.

She had expected to return to her little outpost to a frantic daughter (Please let her be alive and with all her fingers and toes and not bored and run amuck and burning things down and had she eaten supper? Was she okay? Was she afraid? Please no…) and an unpleasant recovery. She had not ever expected to see Edward under a very happy overgrown puppy.

She'd really never expected to see Edward again. When he had left to go destroy the gate, and Roy had let Alphonse go after him, she had thought that was it. Ed would never know about Sara, would never know that…

She wanted to grind her teeth in frustration. Edward was oblivious. She could hear Edward muttering to himself from his seat in front of the fire, trying to make sense of the clue she had given him. Roy could understand his mental disconnect concerning her sex- hell, she had the same problem often enough- and that would be enough of a gap for Ed to get around. Yet still…

Except for Sara's dark coloring, she could have been a miniature Edward. The stubborn man just hadn't wanted to _see._

The muttering had reached a crescendo, ending with two strangled words.

"My daughter."

It was better than the screaming fit she had half expected. Yet there was so much shock there… She hadn't wanted to hurt him. Still, she couldn't think there was a way to break it gently. Her own emotions were screwed up enough.

Last time she had seen Edward they had been running up a stone arch heading toward the alien airship that had been raining down destruction on Central. There was so much she had wanted to say, and so much that she couldn't. Yet she had known, finally, that he was alive, even if he was never coming back.

She had made peace with that.

Now he was there and she had no idea what to do with him.

"My daughter. Mine. I have a daughter." Edward had sat up and was looking over at them both through the gloom. She could feel his eyes on him… and hell, it wasn't like they were going to get a better time to talk. Not when Sara was awake, that was for sure.

Thank goodness that girl slept like the dead.

Finally levering herself up with her good arm, Roy looked over at Ed, noting his face was pale with a hint of green, visible despite the gloom. There was a mix of emotions playing on his face, anywhere from disgust to anger to confusion, but thankfully disbelief was not present. Good, Roy didn't want to deal with that right now.

"You should still be sleeping," Edward said, standing up as Roy stumbled getting her balance. "You're… hell, why do I care? I mean," and he paused, before finally blurting out just what had to be stewing in his mind. "How? Why the hell didn't you tell me? She's really..?"

"As for the how, you were there, so you know exactly _how,_ Ed," Roy mumbled, and blinked her good eye as Edward moved under her uninjured arm to help her to one of the benches next to the fire. "And, exactly when would I have told you? Running while we dodged bullets? That would have been a great time. 'Oh yes, Fullmetal- I have something to tell you while Central is burning all around us. Your previously male commanding officer has had your baby.' Perfect time for that talk right then, especially since Flame Alchemy requires so little concentration."

She realized her tone had turned bitter, not to mention sarcastic. That really hadn't been her intention, but… dammit... Her chest tightened up. She had coped, she had done a good job with Sara, but every time Sara asked why she didn't have a daddy it made Roy's ache inside. The situation was just…

Edward didn't answer, just hunched up. "She's really my daughter."

His voice had finally broken, settling into a pleasant tenor. He had stayed under her arm, and for a moment, just a moment, Roy let him support her weight.

"Yes."

His breathing turned ragged. "I never even considered it."

"I didn't either. Hell, I didn't expect to come back from my mission. You know that."

Roy felt, more than saw, Edward's nod. That was what had lead to the entire situation in the first place, in Roy's mind. Knowing that there was no way out of her situation but one, unspoken affection, an insane game of chicken combined with the equivalent a condemned woman's last meal added to a long, tense time alone resulted in the inevitable.

"I wanted you to come back," Ed added after a moment. "We said we would."

_But I lied,_ Roy didn't say. She had toyed with the idea of suicide after Ed had left, while she was in the hospital recovering… That had changed when she suddenly couldn't drink coffee because the smell made her sick. Being sick led Richard to asking some odd questions, a test and… Sara.

That was another can of worms she didn't want to think about right then. Her headache would get worse.

"You could have told me after," Edward whispered, voice tight.

"Would it have made a difference?"

Edward flinched, and his breathing became faster, more hysterical. "I- I don't know."

"I don't either, and I didn't want to find out," Mustang whispered. "Sometimes I think you might have stayed… then I realize you never would have. You would have gone back and done what you had to do; Al, Sara and me be damned."

"_Fuck it, I am not my father!_" Ed finally cracked, the hysteria he had valiantly suppressed finally getting through. "I am not that bastard and I will never, ever run out on my own kid!"

"Shhh!"

There was a stirring from the bed, and Roy looked over. Thankfully it was only Bradley, the silly dog looking up before resting his head on Sara's chest.

Edward was still in a state. Roy could hear the small whimper in his throat.

"No, Hohenhiem never came back," Mustang murmured. She leaned a little more, letting the exhaustion of the last four years show through. It was stupid, it was weak, but she was concussed and had a broken wrist and she had gone through fifteen hours of labor for Sara and had always been afraid of finding out the truth. That Edward was gone completely- not dead but lost, forever, to her and…

She closed her good eye. She sounded like a tired, sentimental fool.

"You never promised to come back, but you did." The hysterical tremors in Edward's shoulders eased. "That puts you one up on Hohenhiem already."

Silence fell, save for the dim popping and crackle of the fire and the hiss of snow outside. Roy's arm dropped off Edward's shoulders, but she let her head drop there instead. It wasn't that much of fall. Edward had grown considerably in the past several years. The shoulder under her cheek was firm muscle, and an arm slid around her back.

"She's really mine?" Ed's voice rose, breathy and high, like a child opening a gift.

"All yours, Ed. Sometimes I have to stop myself from calling her 'Fullmetal' when she misbehaves."

Edward laughed, the hysteria still present but under control. "I have a daughter," he said, but his tone was testing. He was testing the words, feeling them in his mouth. "God, I missed- I have a daughter and I missed so much of her life already…"

"You missed colic and diapers and vomit, Edward."

"I missed her birth, her first word and her first steps, too," Ed replied. He was wistful. "I think I could have handled the other stuff."

Silence dropped, but it wasn't painful this time. There was regret, but it was manageable. Roy could hear Ed talking to himself, things like _little girl_, _I'm a dad,_ and _what the hell now?_

"Thank you, Ed."

Ed stopped talking to himself, looking at her. "For what?"

"Coming back. Being a stubborn brat. For…" It was embarrassing, but Ed had given her the most important thing in her life- what had kept her from eating her gun that final time. "For Sara."

Edward squirmed, lips moving silently just out of Roy's sight, and it was quiet for a little while longer.

"What now? Does she know about me? What have you said..?"

"That depends on you. I'm not going to ask you for anything you don't want. She knows her father isn't here, and I tell her that he's gone away. Who her dad is, I haven't said. I couldn't."

Edward stiffened. "_Couldn't_, or _wouldn't?_"

Mustang's nearly faded away completely. "Couldn't."

"You going to tell me why?"

"Eventually. Depends on what you decide to do."

"Great motivation there," Edward sounded sour. "She's my kid, and… even if this isn't what I had in mind, I want to help."

"Thank you."

Roy had trouble keeping her eye open. She hadn't let herself lean on someone else for quite a while, and the heat of the fire was working its way through. The pain in her head and wrist eased, fading into the background.

"So why didn't you tell Sara about me?" Edward asked. There was no answer, and Edward frowned. Mustang's breathing had changed, becoming deep and even.

In a brief moment of revelation, his life had turned into something unbalanced and unsettling. He could still feel his heart trying to crack his ribs and he was dizzy with a mixture of anger and sorrow. He was outraged that all this had happened, that he hadn't _known,_ somehow, about his own child. Yet there was no way he could have known, and it certainly wasn't an outcome he had imagined when he had first seen that picture fall out of its frame. He was sad that he had nearly become that bastard, the man who had left his family when they had _needed_ him. Even if Edward understood Hohenhiem's reasoning, understood his cowardice, the idea of becoming him left Edward shaking in his boots.

"Too many people might try to take her away if anyone knew. I've told no one, but I think Richard figured it out."

"What people?" Edward said, immediately on the defensive. If anyone, anyone, ever tried to take _his_ daughter-

Ed's train of thought stumbled again, at his easy acceptance of the girl as his. Then again, the evidence was fairly obvious, once he had worked out for himself.

"I killed the old Fuhrer, Ed. Once the new parliament was in power, most people were willing to let it go because I went up here voluntarily, and stayed out of the limelight. With that… Sara's brilliant." There was a trace of pride in Mustang's voice. "You could even call her a prodigy. There are a lot of people who would use her as a tool. Or just take her out of spite, especially knowing that her father was barely legal at the time."

"That's why you've stayed out here?"

Mustang was quiet again, before breathing out softly. "Yes."

"If- if I'm here, and I want to acknowledge her… would that help?"

This time, there was no answer. Edward didn't ask for one.

To be continued.

A/N: Yup, more stress relief. I'm thinking of taking this down the merry path of cliché. Or maybe not.


	3. Chapter 3

Reversed Cliché III

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

Pairings: Roy and Ed, others mentioned

Warnings: Gender switch, AU, crack

A/N: Dude- someone tell me why everything I write turns serious?

"_Brother, what do you miss the most about home?" Alphonse had asked, as they camped for the night with this particular band of gypsies, including the Scar and Lust look-alikes. _

_The stars were beautiful, and there were so many of them, as the crickets sang in the background. Edward nearly ignored Al's question in favor of enjoying the moment and _not thinking _about it._

"_Well, you see… I don't like dwelling on it. It's not like we had a home back there, you know, and…"_

"_You miss someone, not something, Brother," Al said, bringing up what Ed was dancing around with his devastatingly accurate little brother powers of observation. "Who is it? Winry? Rose? I know you had a couple of girls back there who liked you…"_

_Edward twitched, his flesh hand automatically tracing his lips softly as he _remembered _that final kiss with Mustang. He knew they had meant it to be a goodbye, but Edward had tasted a promise there, that maybe what had happened once could happen again. Then he would hit himself in the head because the person he was mooning over was _Roy Mustang. _The body was female but his mind was conniving, sneaky, brilliant, and…_

_Loyal, protective and driven. Maybe they were too much alike. Seems that there were some things the same, no matter what Mustang's sex was. He had enjoyed the verbal sparring, had enjoyed the contest of wills, and had unconsciously come to realize that Mustang would always have his back. He'd grudgingly come to respect male Mustang…_

_And maybe he had really, really liked the female one. _

"Hey, Ed… while we're here, have you kissed a girl yet?" _she had said, sitting beside him as they hid from the guards rushing in the madness left by Ed's assault on headquarters. It was a distraction from the moment, from the realization that Mustang had no desire to return from her own assault. _

"When would I have had the time?" _Ed snapped back, furious at her and glaring. Mustang didn't tease him, but the bleak smile sent his way made him feel ill. He wanted to _change _that, to get some other kind of reaction besides this flat acceptance of her death that made him act._

_He leaned in and kissed her, quick, rough and closed mouthed._ "There. Now I've kissed a girl," _he said with some satisfaction, waiting to see the surprise on her face._

"That's not a real kiss, Fullmetal," _Mustang said, blinking but no where near as shocked as Edward had wanted. It was a look of challenge, on the face of someone who had nothing left to lose._

"Now… This is how you kiss a girl." _She lifted one gloved hand, stroking the coarse material over Ed's cheek before leaning in and showing Ed how to do it properly. Whatever this had started as, it had changed into something beyond his control. The kiss had been what had done him in- he lost his desire to think beyond the moment, just wanting the distraction of Roy's mouth and body, and he had lost himself in her smell. It was surreal as Mustang showed him how to kiss, how to touch someone else. _

_He did have a moment to stop, as Mustang eased down the elegantly tailored pants of her disguise. His real hand had been stroking one naked breast after pulling them out of her bra and noting, distractedly, that they were small. Seems that God wasn't such a bastard after all… _

_Why was he doing this? This was Roy Mustang, the bane of his existence. The person who had swooped into his life and offered him a direction when all hope was lost._

_Could he do the same? Give Roy something to hold on to, for the moment? Ask for a promise?_

_Coming back to himself, he could hear Al snickering._

"_You, brother, have got it bad…"_

When Ed woke up, he found he was still in front of the fire, but sprawled on the wooden bench before it, with a blanket covering him and a pillow under his head.

What had awakened him wasn't the horrible crick in his neck, but the sound of quiet orders coming from a familiar voice.

"Bread."

"Check!"

"Put the eggs next to the pan. Okay, now put the bacon out. There's fine."

"Check!"

"Hm. You like saying 'check' don't you?"

"Check!"

There was a soft chuckle, and Edward sat up, looking up to see Roy and Sara rooting through the cupboards. "Okay. Now, tell me, what happens when you get eggs hot?"

"They have a chemical change!"

"What kinds of changes are there?"

"Physical and chemical!"

"Good!"

Sara giggled at the praise. "Read to me? Please?"

"I can't, Sara, my eye isn't focusing well yet… That's why I needed- good morning, Edward. Good to see you still with us."

Edward twitched as memory filed back in, ripping his mental feet out from under him and he nearly drowned under the tide. Coming out here, prepared to chew out Mustang, confusion, and…

His daughter jumped into view, small face peering into his. "You better help with breakfast or you aren't getting any," she said severely, sounding like she was scolding him. Edward looked over at Mustang who smiled back with amusement. "Cause Mama can't cook right now and I'm too young to play with fire."

Edward's lips twitched into a smile. "So you've been helping Mama?" Sara nodded. Edward's smile got wider, and he reached out with his human hand, ruffling her hair. _His_ daughter's hair. "You're a good kid."

"Yup! And good morning to you, Mr. Fullmetal. So are you going make breakfast?"

Edward laughed. "Yeah." He got to his feet, yawning and stretching, then staring at Sara unabashedly. She had turned to Mustang, looking up at her and following Mustang's directions to get the frying pan, eggs and bacon.

There wasn't a stove, but a grill over the fire used for cooking. Ed got up and set the pan on the grill to heat it up. "How do you want your eggs?"

"Scrambled," Sara said, quickly, looking over at Mustang. "Mama likes hers fried. Can you cook better than Mama? Aunt Gracia is the best cook ever. Do you know Elysia? Uncle Richard? Where are you from?" Now that Sara had someone new to pester she was milking it for all it was worth. "Do you do alchemy? Where are you from?"

Edward's paused, nonplused at the barrage of questions and enthusiasm as Sara bounced on her toes.

"Sara," Roy interrupted. "Give Mr. Fullmetal breakfast first, then he can answer your questions, okay?"

Sara heaved a massive sigh. "But he can talk while he's cooking!"

"Well, we have something more important to talk about while he's cooking." Mustang fell silent for a moment, and Edward watched her out of the corner of his eye. She had clearly come to some kind of decision while Ed was sleeping, even if she did look conflicted about it. "Do you remember what I told you about your Papa?"

Sara closed her eyes and concentrated hard. "He was a brave person and went on a secret mission and he never came back and you miss him a lot."

Now Ed's head did whip around, looking at Mustang incredulously. Mustang was looking down at her little girl, not very amused. "I did tell you the first part, but I don't recall ever telling you the last part."

"Uncle Jean told me that." She wagged her finger, one hand on her hip. "He said you were waiting for him to come home and that were being really silly-"

"Sara, I think-"

"And that Uncle Richard would make a good daddy so why didn't you marry him? Uncle Jean said he wouldn't mind being my daddy too but you always said 'no' and-"

"Sara, that's enough…"

"Aunt Gracia thinks its silly that you keep waiting for him." Sara finished, and Edward felt like Al had punched him with his armored fist. Mustang didn't look much better, before covering her face with her good hand.

"Sara, you realize that was nothing _I_ had told you about your papa."

"Um… yeah? You never talk about him so I had to ask someone else."

Edward sat down hard. His knees didn't want to hold him up. The situation had just become… a hell of a lot more awkward.

"Sara. I didn't talk about him because I didn't know if he would come back and… he did." Mustang got up, and stood next to her. Sara looked confused, tilting her head to the side.

"This is your papa, Sara. Edward Elric."

Sara looked at her Mama. Then she looked over at Edward, then back again. "Mama, why did you pick him? I'd wanted Uncle Richard."

Ed's heart stopped.

"I could marry one of them, yes. That doesn't make them your real father, Sara. You've only got one, and he finally came home to us," Mustang stated haltingly. "Uncle Richard is still your Uncle Richard. He won't love you less."

Sara whirled around, face intent as she all but jumped into Ed's lap. "Are you really my Papa?"

Edward opened his mouth and shut it, nodding finally. "Yeah." She continued to look him over, reaching up to touch his face, tilting his head this way and that. "I'm sorry. I didn't know about you."

"Why not?" Sara sounded quite confused now.

"Your papa," Mustang said, pausing like the words tasted weird, then continued. "Your papa didn't know he had left you with me. You were a surprise and he left before I could tell him." Sara looked even more confused, but didn't dwell on it.

"I was a surprise?" Edward and Roy looked at each; Edward trying to find direction and Roy just looking amused. "I like surprises," Sara finished, before snuggling further in Ed's lap. "Am I surprise Mr. Fullmetal?"

She was warm. She smelled like a little girl, soft and light and it was like seeing a black haired version of himself sitting there, mischief always lurking in her eyes. Mustang was part of her as well, but more subtly. Her eyes had a faint hint of an almond shape, along with the black hair and eyes… but it was Ed's nose, the same wide eyed expression, Ed's mouth and jaw. Still, she wore Mustang's expression…

"You have no idea," Ed said softly, as they examined each other with the same intensity. "Am I surprise to you?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. "But Mama wouldn't lie about this."

"So, you wanted Richard to be your dad?" Ed asked, his voice catching. What if she hated him? He didn't want to be hated the way he hated his own father…

"Uncle Richard offered but Mama said no." She leaned in, and whispered in a conspiratorial voice. "Mama was smiling this morning and Mama _never _smiles in the mornings. Except at me when I try to make coffee. It was pretend coffee. Uncle Richard can't make Mama smile." Sara suddenly turned serious. "So, it's okay if you're my Papa."

"I made her smile, eh?" Ed muttered. Well, it was all pretty overwhelming. Not to mention that it made him smile as well. The implicit promise that maybe, if he came back, there might be more was actually holding true- he might not have guessed about a daughter, but that they were both so…

The moment turned awkward, and Edward turned to the cooking, slicing the bread and putting it on the grill to toast.

There wasn't a lot of it. There were only two eggs and a small chunk of bacon. He sawed through it, noting that there was mold on one side. "You really know how to treat guests, General Mama," Ed said, not thinking about it, pulling the hot skillet off the grill and dropping in the bacon to watch them fry.

Sara hovered over Ed's shoulder as he cooked, getting all the eggs scrambled ("Oops!") and laughing about it and listening to his daughter ask questions. He answered them as best he could while flipping the bread with his automail hand. That made Sara squeal and for the next several moments she was inspecting his hand, asking where he got it, how he got it, why did he have a metal arm and could she have one too?

Plates were passed…

And Edward paused when Mustang didn't take one.

"You not hungry?" he asked, his mouth full of food as he and Sara wolfed down what little there was of it.

"The next supply transport isn't due for another two weeks," she answered, simply. "I'm usually under stocked because the army doesn't recognize Sara as being here."

Ed stopped eating, and actually _looked around_. The outpost wasn't really decorated, very Spartan, and what little was there was directed toward taking care of a little girl. There were toys and books and blankets- but Mustang's personality was pretty much absent. Except for the attempts to make it livable…

It was a shack.

The nearest village was too far away to make constant travel feasible. It was cold, the firewood was sparse and the food was poor. He remembered how frail Mustang had felt- underfed and weak.

"They sent you out here… so you could…" He couldn't say the last part because Sara was here and he didn't want to upset her. Mustang's half smile was ironic as she nodded.

"They don't want me around anymore. I came out here, but that was because this was where I could keep Sara out of their view. The old Generals are afraid that if I'm in a place with more soldiers I'll start another rebellion. Most of them aren't aware of my- ah- change-"

"But some are?" Ed asked, jaw going slack. "How?"

Mustang covered her mouth to cough in embarrassment. "The court martial proceedings went on for quite a long time- I did my best to draw them out because if they had gone _quickly_ I probably would have been executed within a week. I'd been staying with Gracia but I had to talk to my staff. My water broke when I was at headquarters."

"Mama never tells me how water can break," Sara muttered, finishing off her eggs. "Ice breaks. Not water."

"I don't think she was talking about that," Ed said weakly, rubbing Sara's back as Mustang continued.

"Hakuro was there. I don't know why he was at headquarters that day, and he was walking by. The man has two children and recognized what was happening quickly enough. Hawkeye got me to the hospital but Hakuro confronted me later… and…" She closed her eye. "I wound up here."

_They want you to die up here and save them the problem. They don't want embarrassing questions later. They threatened you with your daughter's life, somehow… and fuck if I'm going to let that continue,_ Ed thought, and made a decision.

"Do you still get medical leave?" he asked, looking at Mustang's wrist and head.

"Sort of?"

"Good. We're calling Central and telling them you broke your legs. Not a total lie… and I'm taking you and Sara home," Ed said emphatically. "I want Al to meet his niece and," his eyes turned pleading. "I want to acknowledge Sara." He looked at his little girl, who could have been his shadow. Why hadn't he noticed immediately? She was so clearly an Elric. "Want to be Sara Elric?"

"My name is Sara Mustang," she said, pouting.

"Sara Mustang-Elric?" Ed suggested. While Sara was thinking about it, he turned to Mustang, becoming mulish. "And you _are_ coming with me. I am not letting you waste away out here. You can't tell me that the public wasn't happy that their old war hero saved Central."

And Roy… Roy _laughed._

"I think… we're both going to be keeping our promises," she said, and gave Ed a smile that made his heart lurch and his gut clench.

"Yeah, even if it's not how we thought," Ed answered, pulling Sara forward and giving her a hug, feeling protectiveness well up towards her. She was _his, _family, and there was nothing more important to Edward than his family. "So, Sara, want to meet your Uncle Al?"

Sara blinked. "I've got _another_ uncle?"

"Yup, in Risembool. Its warm there. You and Mama can come with me."

"Can we see Aunt Gracia too?"

Ed paused. "Sure, its on the way…"

"Most of my photo albums are there, too," Mustang murmured. "You… you might like to see them."

Edward nodded, giddy and wondering what _else_ was going to happen now.

To be continued.


	4. Chapter 4

Reversed Cliché IV

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

Pairings: Roy and Ed, others mentioned

Warnings: Gender switch, AU, post movie, disgustingly cute OFC child.

A/N: More of this because I found out something unhappy today. Life sucks.

The name of the Fullmetal Alchemist still carried some weight, especially with star struck young secretaries, and Edward was able to call Central and get leave for Mustang without much difficulty.

Ed was grateful for that, walking out of the lone house with a phone out here on the edge of the world. He saw Sara playing with her dog, romping in the snow and bundled up into a round furry ball. Mustang's good eye never left her, and Mustang was _smiling_.

Edward had never seen it before on Mustang's face, but he remembered seeing it often on the face of his mother. Love, pride and affection were all there as he watched Mustang watch their daughter squeal and dodge her dog's enthusiastic licking.

_Their_ daughter; somehow the thought made him giddy and headache-y and scared all at once. He wanted to say he was too young to be a dad- but he had grown up too fast, too soon anyways. It wasn't like he could complain now.

"Here," Mustang said, when Ed plopped down beside her, offering him an empty mug. "Sara made you some coffee." She nodded to her own empty mug. "Pretend to drink it or at least politely turn it down."

Ed smiled, and took a deep "gulp" and rolled his eyes. "Mmm… best coffee ever…"

Mustang gave him a warm smile. "She will be thrilled you enjoyed it."

Ed hid his face, briefly, behind the mug as he examined Mustang's face. That smile was something he had never expected to see on Mustang's face. Simple and pure, and without shadows- they sank back into Roy's eyes a breath later, but they were clear when she looked at Sara.

_And right then, at me._

Edward hunched over, enjoying watching Mustang's pleasure at watching the little girl. "I thought you weren't going to tell her about me," Ed commented, lowering his voice. Sara was tugging on Bradley's tail and he was dragging her through the snow. "That it was dangerous. Why did you change your mind?"

Mustang didn't turn to look at him. "Sara needed to know, eventually, while she could still forgive us both; me for not telling her, and you for not being there." Edward opened his mouth to protest, but Mustang cut him off.

"It wasn't your idea, and there was no way you could have known, but does that logic make sense to a child? I would have lied to her by not telling her the truth when you came back, and once you knew and she didn't… then her father would have turned his back on her as well. Could you have forgiven your parents if that was the case?"

Ed swallowed, hunching his shoulders.

"It's still dangerous- there are a lot of factors involved here. I think… I think if it comes down to it, you could protect her. At least get her out of the way while I take the fall."

Mustang sounded resigned, like she had already accepted that inevitability. It made Ed feel ill.

"Listen to me, you- you- Mama." He grabbed Mustang's shoulder. "Don't ever accept that until it happens. Sara needs you alive- I know she loves you and damn if my daughter will live without you."

Mustang smiled again.

"Come on. The train- the _only_ train, will be arriving soon and we have a ways to get to the station. We're getting out of here."

* * *

Mustang yawned, feeling her daughter curled up against her side with that silly dog Bradley at their feet. They had to pay extra to get him on the train, but Edward was more than inclined to indulge his newfound daughter. She could feel his eyes on her, watching Sara and herself.

"Go on to sleep," Ed said, his fingers twitching on his living hand. He was looking at Sara almost longingly, and Roy could understand. She remembered being entranced by her own child, counting her fingers and toes and just marveling at how perfect a baby could be.

Gracia had told her this was normal. As normal as shaking for what felt like ages after the delivery- the baby apparently took over making the heat for the body and when she was gone, and the afterbirth had been delivered, she had to adjust to the sudden loss of heat- not to mention the swollen breasts and continuous 'leaking'.

"Not yet… Do you want her?"

Ed opened his mouth to deny it, before Roy snorted. Ed had missed the new father jitters, the terror of holding something so _small_. Apparently he was starting to make up for it in spades.

"She likes to cuddle, Ed. You might as well get used to it now instead of later. You will, be assured."

Ed flushed, and held his arms out, before he remembered Roy's broken wrist. Pain in the ass, that… She'd broken bones before, but it was still annoying, not to mention the pain. Hopefully Ed would step up and help with some of the tasks of taking care of Sara.

Getting up, and bracing Sara with her good arm, she stood up. "Take my seat. She'll keep right on sleeping, trust me."

Ed fidgeted for a moment before scooting across to Roy's bench and easing into the position under the little girl. Sara didn't notice that her human pillow had changed- just shifted into Ed's lap like it was her mother's. A shuffle later and Roy was sitting on the opposite bench and looking at the young man with the girl draped across him. He was holding exceptionally still, eyes wide like he was afraid any move would wake her. The eyes were awed, too.

"Go ahead and touch her if you want. She likes having her back rubbed." Her expression turned fond. "When she was a baby, I would pat her stomach. Sounds silly but it put her right to sleep. She hated sleeping because it would mean she would miss something."

Ed's flesh hand crept up to her hair, combing through the soft strands.

"She's got your glare, you know," Roy went on, lost in thought. "Babies can't see well, but Sara just glared at everything. She was not eager to come out, or if she was, she was having serious second thoughts."

Ed swallowed, with his eyes still on Sara's small form. "I wish… I wish I could have been there."

"Let's say I'm a lot more sympathetic to Hughes now."

Ed snorted, his hand still on Sara's shoulder, not watching that she was starting to drool.

"She's beautiful." Ed sighed, glancing up at Roy then down to Sara again. "You've really settled down into the mom bit, haven't you?"

Now Roy twitched. "You really think so?" She rubbed her scalp. "Not at first, not at all. Being female again, not to mention, ah, my delicate condition… No, I wouldn't say I took it well at first."

Ed winced. "What's the biggest difference? What do you miss the most?"

There were any number of answers that Roy could have given, half were hypocritical and the rest were illusions. She had never had real power or freedom, she had been a murderer and a fool, and she had been lying about who she had been even then…

"I miss being able to pee standing up."

* * *

Ed hadn't moved, as eyes fixed on his daughter as he went back to inspecting her. He could hear Mustang's breathing shift back towards sleep, stretching out on the bench.

_Even if I lived a thousand lifetimes, I could never deserve the gift of my children._

Edward hadn't understood what Hohenhiem meant until that moment. He loved his brother, he… cared about… Mustang, but to have a child look at him, with his own face, with innocence and intelligence and such _potential_ and future and already be such a little pipsqueak. He knew that it was probably evolutionary, that humans were meant to feel like that about kids… but with his own, it seemed special. It was _his_ feeling, and his gift. Did it make all the suffering worth it? Ed wondered if he had finally gotten something without equivalent exchange.

Then he looked up at Mustang again. No, he just hadn't been the one to pay.

"Your leg is metal too?" Sara asked, sitting up a little to wiggle.

"Uh huh."

"Can you tell me a story, Papa?" Her voice was half muffled from where it pressed into Ed's shoulder.

A story? Well, Ed knew several, but most of them involved the Philosopher's Stone and everyone dying. They weren't stories he wanted to tell a child. Sara, unconcerned with her Papa's lack of speech, went on.

"Mama sings a lot, and Uncle Richard tells really good stories."

Ed got the feeling he was going to be tired hearing about Uncle Richard, but he did know that Roy and Riza had been close- nearly as close as he and Al, and he supposed that was all right. Ed couldn't have been there, so at least Roy wasn't alone.

"What kind of stories does Uncle Richard tell you?" Ed asked, curious. If it was a fairy tale he knew, he could probably take off from there.

"Um… About a prince and his brother, both in shining armor, who go around and help people and fight monsters."

"Oh, really?" He had a feeling he knew where this was going.

"Yup, and the prince had to free his brother who was under a curse so they went around looking for the Magic Ruby which could free him. They worked for a good lord who was trying to become king, so that he could save the country from an evil king who held the country under a spell. The good lord fought the evil king and nearly died and the prince disappeared but saved his brother. The end."

That was certainly a succinct way to put it. For the next hour, Ed told her stories, couched in "The brave prince and his brother the knight" and "The good lord".

It passed the time, and Sara asked lots of questions. She was full of them- always wanting to know more, always wanting to know "what then"?

"Why did the prince disappear? Uncle Richard never said."

"Because he had to pay a price to get his brother back and he went to another world."

"Why did the good lord go into exile after he saved the country? Wasn't he a hero?"

That one Ed didn't know. "I think that was because no one else knew the king was evil. People thought that the good lord did a bad thing and so they sent him away. They would have hurt people he loved if he hadn't let them."

Sara paused, considering this.

"That's stupid. People should be happy the evil king is gone."

"Doesn't always work that way, Sara," Ed answered, petting her hair. Sara yawned, shifting to get comfortable again. Just as she was drifting off, she mumbled something else.

"That's still stupid."

* * *

"You don't have to keep wearing the corset, now that we're here," Ed said, after that three day train ride back to Central.

"I'm still in uniform."

"There are women in the Amestrian military," Ed growled. "Don't those things rearrange your internal organs? Plus you're too da- darn skinny."

Sara nodded. "Too darn skinny, Mama. Papa's right."

Both adults stopped and looked at their offspring.

"You heard the girl, Mama," Ed smirked, taking Mustang's uninjured arm. "Let's get her to Aunt Gracia's and put some meat back on her bones!"

Sara nodded enthusiastically. "Aunt Gracia makes the bestest pie! Apple pie and cake and- and!" she was breathless with excitement. "She makes good meatloaf too!" She bounced on her toes. "Mama can stop being too darn skinny!"

"Hm. Bad influence already, Ed?"

"Yup, bad influence already Ed?" Sara repeated. Her eyes were glassy bright. The sun was already down and Sara was getting hyper.

The tables had turned on Edward almost too quickly, and he was left reeling. "Now, Sara, you realize you were agreeing with me before?" Sara nodded. "Okay… um, well, let's get to Gracia's, okay?"

Sara nodded again, and took Ed's automail hand.

"Lucky me. I've got two beautiful ladies all to myself," Ed said, teasingly, hearing Mustang snort…

But he hadn't meant it entirely in jest.

* * *

The arrival was anticlimactic, with Edward getting Sara and Roy settled down into one of the guest room and himself making a bed on the living room couch. There had been lots of squealing as Sara hit Elysia running, and they had disappeared into her room almost immediately to play and they got along well despite their age differences.

"I see you found your family, Ed," Gracia said, after he had sat down on couch and propped up his feet. He would start fattening up Roy tomorrow- right now he would enjoy a comfortable seat.

Then her words sank in and Ed twitched. "Uh, yeah..? How did you-"

"She is very much like you. Anyone who has known you, and Renee, and Sara, will figure it out fast enough."

Ed scowled, and then sighed, throwing his hands up and crossing them under his head and flopping backwards. "Yeah, and it seems I was the last person to know."

"You were gone a long time, Ed, and we were here with her." Gracia took a seat nearby. "We had to know, at least about the change. Renee told you how she changed back, I take it, but… well, and the rest of the story is less than pleasant. Richard can tell you about finding Renee after she killed Bradley, but I went to go see her in the hospital afterwards." Gracia's lips were in a thin line. "We nearly lost her to blood loss, during surgery, any number of things. I'm grateful that Richard had the foresight to put her under an assumed name. It meant Renee had a little time to heal before the military police caught her."

_When I think about it, it was a miracle I didn't miscarry. _

Edward shuddered. He didn't believe in miracles, but he did feel a chill at the thought of Sara not even being born. Hell, he should be surprised Mustang didn't abort her.

"You're calling her Renee- you know about who she had been?" Ed asked, tilting his head to look at her.

"That was what Maes called her when she wasn't there- even when she had been a man. Maes never forgot who his childhood friend had been, and he never lied to me about things." Standing, Gracia went over to a bookshelf, and pulled out one of the many sets of photo albums there. Then another.

"Renee never said who Sara's father was, when she was pregnant. She had a lot of trouble accepting it at first. She had just started to recover from her injuries, and had moved in here for the duration- Richard was keeping the MPs distracted so she had no where else to go. We were talking one morning, and she was making coffee, when she went dead white and scrambled to the bathroom."

Even Ed knew what that was. "Morning sickness?"

Gracia nodded. "I had my suspicions, but it wasn't until Richard spelled it out for her that she finally got the test. I'm glad he made her… she'd been a ghost until then. It wasn't an immediate change, and you will have to ask her about what finally happened, but from then she started to get better, and finally heal." Gracia looked away. "The MPs arrested her for court marital soon after, and that was when everyone helped with the male disguise."

When Ed didn't say a word, Gracia put the albums in his lap. "I didn't know who Sara's father was, but Renee never said he was dead, or that he had really gone. So I took the liberty of documenting what happened during her pregnancy and what I could of Sara's birth and first couple of months. Maes would have done the same for his best friend, and it was the least I could do for Sara's father."

Ed sat up, jaw dropping as he looking at two thin books, before quickly flipping one open.

Roy looked at him, or not, from various pictures along the pages. There was one of Roy dressed as a girl, with a wig to hide her face and short hair and the caption "First obstetric appointment."

Beneath that was one of Roy braced against a toilet, and the phrase "Morning, midnight and afternoon sickness."

He leafed through, emotions going haywire as he saw Roy in various stages of pregnancy.

Elysia was in one, lifting up Roy's shirt to feel her belly. The caption was "Baby kicks kidneys, again."

There were a few shots of Roy looking extremely, uncomfortably embarrassed at having her picture taken. One odd picture was of Roy in girl dress, not at all obviously pregnant, and another in uniform, but the caption was "Roy and Renee, seven months. Fifth month of court martial proceedings."

"She was lucky- the uniform is so bulky it covered her well up until her eighth month," Gracia said, watching Ed read. "We didn't have to really worry up until the ninth. She carried small, and Sara was a tiny baby."

Ed held his breath, because hearing anyone calling his kid small made him want to-

Wait, that was a good thing. It had meant they were both safe then. His eyes skimmed to another picture, and he paused.

It was a lovely shot, of Roy sitting in a window seat, sunlight on her hair and shoulders, wearing a white shirt that allowed anyone to see that her breasts and belly were swollen and ripe. One arm was curled protectively about her middle, and her expression was distant and bemused.

_Renee Mustang, ninth month._

Ed's heart skipped a few beats. He had missed all of it, missed seeing her like this, and there was a stew of strange feelings churning in his gut. Guilt was wearing off, but even stranger was the feeling of _satisfaction_ and pride that bubbled up without reason. He had done that. He had given Roy Mustang that belly, with his baby in there.

He was dying of testosterone poisoning. He couldn't explain it any other way.

"I'm surprised she doesn't hate me," Ed said softly, realizing that was the last picture in that particular album.

"I think she was angry, but I don't think she hated you," Gracia said finally after a moment. "When she told me you were gone… she was happy she had a part of you to keep for herself."

"Is that it?"

"You'll have to ask her." Gracia's smile widened. "Look at the other album, Ed. You want to see your own daughter being born, don't you?"

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5

Reversed Cliché V

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

Pairings: Roy and Ed, others mentioned

Warnings: Gender switch, post move AU, sap, fluff, plot and angst.

A/N: More Mustang abuse. Why do I like to victimize this person so much?

"You've got a little girl!"

_The swearing was over, and there was a dull ache left from the pain of fifteen hours of labor. Blood, fluids, and other messes decorated the floor of the birthing room and were completely ignored. She couldn't stop shaking, and she was so exhausted she could barely move. The doctor had taken the baby away to clean her off face._

_Roy's arms trembled as a blanket wrapped bundle was left in her arms; the slight weight helped steady them. The bundle was warm, and smelled a little strange, but right. _

_The new mother continued shaking, this time from joy and nerves more than the cold. Richard leaned over to help her peel back the blanket and Gracia put her hand on Roy's shoulder as she moved in to look as well._

_Two dark blue eyes peered back at them, underneath a cap of coal black hair, and giving them all the sleepiest, most put upon baby glare imaginable. By all rights they should have been ashes from that look alone._

"_Already like your papa," Roy murmured, not seeing Gracia and Richard exchange looks. "Hello, Sara. I'm your Mama."_

"_Can we call everyone else in? The rest of your staff was on the verge of a breakdown the last time I saw them," Gracia chuckled, before snapping a few quick shots of Roy and Sara. _

"_Could you stop that? I look like hell."_

"_Sara will want to see them later," Gracia replied, whisking out of delivery room to take a few shots of the expectant uncles. _

"_Go ahead and feed her- she's probably very hungry by now," the doctor added, stepping away briefly. "Or you can wait until the others have seen her, but sooner is better."_

_Roy chuckled, breathless. She really didn't care if they saw, because frankly right now she could have been told that wild chimeras were running Central and she wouldn't have cared. She did feel…at peace. She had made it, she had done what she could, and brought Ed's baby here. There was part of him in the world again. Everything was right for that moment, even if the court martial was nearly over and she was going to be sentenced. Sara was something good she could give to this world, to make it better, even if she wouldn't be here to see it._

_Richard leaned over to help with the ties of the paper medical gown covering Roy's front. _

_She winced when Sara latched on; like her papa, she was a healthy eater with a strong sucking reflex._

_Richard was smiling, leaning over to pet Sara's fine hair. "For all the alchemy in the world, you can't make a new life." Roy felt her own lips turn up, watching her new daughter vigorously nurse. "You did good work."_

_It was taking a long time for the others to come in, leaving Roy to lean back, humming softly as stroked Sara's hair. It was strange that no one had come in yet; Roy had half expected a stampede._

"_What's wrong?"_

"_I'll go see, Renee," Richard answered, getting up and taking a long look at the scene before him, before pausing at the door._

"_General Hakuro," he said quietly, eyes widening. "What-"_

_The older man's eyebrows went up, seeing the man with Riza's face, before turning to the woman and child on the bed. His face filled with disgust._

"_I was at Central when I heard quite a ruckus," he said, stepping inside. The doctor was gone, but there was little chance he would help against such a high ranking officer. "I was wondering what had happened, when I heard someone say that "Mustang went into labor." Imagine my surprise when I found out that they were really talking about _you_."_

_Roy's heart raced, and this time the shaking was anything but cold and exhaustion. This was terror. Hakuro had been the one pushing for her execution during the court martial. Did this mean..?_

"_How the hell did you turn into a woman?" Hakuro asked, striding over and putting one beefy hand on her face, under her eye patch where she couldn't see it. Her arms tightened around her baby, ready to strike out and kill Hakuro, with her bare hands if necessary, even if her legs trembled like a new colt's. "Who is the father? One of your men or some toy you picked up off the street? I knew you were a slut but this is taking it too far, isn't it?"_

"_You apparently have me mixed up with-"_

"_Don't give me that- I know what you damned alchemists are capable of," Hakuro snarled, clenching Roy's jaw. "Relax, Mustang. I'm going to do you a favor. I'm a parent myself- I couldn't let a baby be left without its mother, can I?" he sneered. _

_Richard reached for the gun he didn't have on him. The look on Hakuro's face made him sick._

"_Leave, Lieutenant. I want to discuss a _proposal _with General Mustang here," the taller man said, stroking his thumb over Mustang's cheekbone. _

_He couldn't leave. His oldest friend would-_

"_Take Sara and go. I'll finish feeding her later," Roy ordered softly, thankful that she had a reason to shake. "Everyone needs a chance to see her, right?"_

_Richard swallowed, feeling dizzy from rage and helplessness. Hakuro had gotten more ambitious since the Fuhrer's demise. It was…_

_Walking over, Richard carefully pulled the baby away, and Sara mewed in anger at losing her meal. _

"_It's okay, sweetheart," Richard said, patting her back. "It's okay." She stepped slowly to the door. The inevitable would follow, soon enough._

"_It'll be okay, Lieutenant," Roy said softly, and the door shut behind him._

* * *

"Everyone was a mess when Renee went into labor at headquarters. I was surprised she hadn't said anything earlier about being in pain, but it was fairly important she talk to her everyone who had helped her with the coup," Gracia began. Her tone had been joyous at first, dropped off and became melancholy. "The final sentencing was going to happen within the week. We… we all expected she would be executed."

Ed dropped the album.

"She committed treason, Ed, with starting the coup. There wasn't conclusive proof that she had, indeed, killed the Fuhrer- no one else was there- it was rumored, and that was enough for the court martial." Her expression turned bleak before she shifted back to her smile. "But it worked out later."

Ed lifted his eyebrows, confused, and picked up the album again. The first picture was of the former Eastern Command, looking frazzled and ragged. Breda and Fury were sitting like they were in shock, Havoc was chewing on a pen since he couldn't smoke, and Falman was wide eyed and disheveled. (The last was something Ed had never thought he would see.)

The next was of a pissed off Mustang, leg's spread under a blanket and covered in sweat. Ed didn't have to be told- he remembered Gracia in the exact same position. "She could not have been happy about that one," Ed muttered. The caption for this one was "Renee invents new vocabulary."

The next one made Ed smile, because it was of a happy, exhausted Roy, clutching a blanket wrapped bundle and completely content. The caption read "Renee and Sara, three minutes old."

"Wow," Ed muttered, flushing and still feeling utterly foolish. He quickly flipped the page, finding another picture of Eastern Command. They were standing up, eager for news, Fury was cheering, and Havoc was looking dazed while Breda and Falman slapped each other on the back. The caption under that one was "It's a Girl! And Eastern Command loses their minds!"

"I'm glad you all were there."

Gracia smiled. "You would have been, too, if you could have been."

The next picture he was looking at was slightly out of focus- people were apparently moving so quickly they were only blurs. Most of them he recognized, largely from hair color, but…

He counted uniforms, and paused, coming up with one more than should have been there. And that person was definitely not Armstrong.

Gray hair capped the top of his head, looking stern as he headed towards the door.

"Who's this guy?"

Gracia paused, and in the evening dusk Ed almost made out how pale her face was.

"That's General Hakuro. Somehow he heard the commotion as they tried to get Renee to the hospital. He demanded to see Renee almost immediately afterwards."

"_What?_" Ed rasped, stomach tightening. He had spoken to Rose after- after he had come back. She hadn't said much about what happened in Lior, but she had mentioned that Hakuro had led the battalion. After that, she stood, wandered to the bathroom and thrown up.

"They… talked, for about twenty minutes," Gracia said quietly. "I don't know what they worked out, but… but whatever it was, the execution was stayed and Renee was given her choice of exile, and everyone else was pardoned."

_It worked out, they're all alive, and Mustang would do anything- anything-_

_Oh hell._

Now Ed felt sick. "He- what would did he do to her?"

"It's not really your business, Edward," a voice called, and Edward and Gracia turned to see Roy standing on the stairs, dressed in men's pajamas… not that they hid anything. Her hips had definitely widened, and she wasn't wearing the corset. Ed swallowed, trying to regain his equilibrium. Damn if curves didn't look good on Mustang. Damn if he wasn't noticing any woman _but_ Mustang.

Then he remembered he was supposed to be worried. "Did he hurt you?" It was a strange question to ask, because the situation itself was…

"Not then, not right away. He wouldn't have enjoyed it like that," Roy answered faintly. "That was later."

_I wasn't there, I couldn't protect you, I couldn't do a damn thing to help you and I _didn't even know. _Some man I am.__But you aren't supposed to need help!_

Getting up, Ed walked to stand awkwardly before her. "You've got to have some idea how to get out of this. I can't imagine you without a plan."

There was a strange flicker in Mustang's good eye, one that was familiar and almost forgotten. She opened her mouth- but Edward decided to keep talking.

"You know, by all rights, I should make an honest woman out of-"

"Don't even think about it, Fullmetal," Roy snapped, putting her hand over his mouth. "For one thing, I am not going to marry anyone because they think they can make me honest. That's impossible, as you know. You aren't thinking, either- because for one thing, marriage isn't something you just jump into. Not without the right reasons. Protecting Sara and I is not one of them. I'm not some damsel in distress."

Edward peeled her hand off his face. "If you can tell me that it's all right to ask for help, then you can do the same. Or did that speech of yours in Risembool mean nothing at all? It's all right if you ask for help, and you don't have to do this alone."

"Ed, you can do all that _without_ marrying me," Roy answered dryly.

"But you had my kid."

"And you'd leash yourself- for the rest of your life- to a dog? You're young, Ed. You've got the rest of your life ahead of you, and marriage isn't anything to be taken lightly. I don't want to marry someone who…" She trailed off, and ran her fingers through her hair. "Who isn't in love with me and willing to stick with it for the long haul. I know that sounds strange considering my older, ah, habits, but it's what I've decided. Besides, I don't want your guilt, Ed. I want you to want me first. It's not like you've even been a real date."

Ed glared at this new attack. He- yes, he wasn't sure how he felt about her, even if she did… His eyes went down to her curves again, and he licked his lips, before bringing them back to her face. "Well, I guess I have to fix that, don't I? Then tomorrow at seven o'clock, we're going to the museum of science and history. They have a nice little romantic coffee shop. _Then_ I'll have been on a real date."

Mustang blinked. "Most people go for dinner and a show, but dinner and a museum sounds appropriate. Did you just ask me out?"

"Yeah, I did. What are you going to do about it?"

Roy was taken aback, before smiling faintly. "I believe this is the type of situation that led to Sara being born in the first place."

"What, a stupid game like this? So? You said I'd never been on a date, and you can't date yourself, so you're coming with me. Equivalent exchange, right?"

Laughter interrupted their bickering, and both turned to see Gracia covering her mouth.

"Good to see _you_ acting normal again, Renee," the older woman laughed, finally dropping her hand and snickering helplessly. "You looked just like your old self!"

"See, you'll have fun," Ed added easily, hands on his hips. "And Gracia can watch Sara so it'll just be us and…" Ed realized, abruptly, that he had just asked Roy out on a date. Then again, he had just asked her to marry him. The testosterone was taking over his brain.

Roy was looking at him with amusement. "How are you dressing, so I can match you?"

"Huh?"

"Well, it looks bad if a couple don't wear the same kinds of outfits, so-"

"Who are you saying can't wear anything outside of child sizes, General Mama?"

"Am I wearing a dress or not?"

"I've got another outfit like this, and it's what fits. I can wear a tie though. So you better wear something nice. And not one of those butt-ugly uniforms, either."

"Fine. We're agreed. Nineteen hundred hours tomorrow. And by the way, I need your help giving Sara a bath."

Gracia, watching the exchange, couldn't hold back another giggle.

* * *

Sara was _thrilled_ when Ed came in and announced that she was taking a bath. One with bubbles and using Elysia's many bath toys.

"I'm naked!" Sara yelled, jumping into the water and grabbing the rubber ducky. Ed knelt next to the tub, rolling up his sleeves and getting out the washcloth.

"Bubbles, bubbles!" Sara squealed, splashing the water. She started playing with the ducky; oddly enough, she made train sounds as she pushed it through the water. Ed watched her, bemused, as she continued to make train sounds as she played with the different bath toys.

"So, you like trains, huh?" Ed asked.

Sara, wet and grinning, looked up at him and nodded. Then she splashed him.

"Hey!"

"Sara, your Papa is not a bath toy," Mustang added. Her answer was a pout and the return of train noises.

Edward opened his mouth to protest- that pout was already killer- but Mustang shook her head. "You let her start and the bathroom will be soaked before you can blink. Its fun sometimes, but we're guests. Remember?"

Ed sighed. This Papa thing might be harder than he thought. That pout, Al's pout, was truly, truly hard to deny.

"Can Papa tell me more stories when I go to bed, Mama?" Sara asked when Ed started washing her down carefully keeping soap out of her eyes. "He tells me stories about the brave prince and knight that Uncle Richard doesn't know."

"Does he?" Roy answered, smiling.

"He doesn't sing good though," she went on blithely. "If I'm good, can you sing after my story? Are you okay? Does your arm still hurt bad? Cause you usually give me a bath. Can you give me a bath later?"

"It may be a while, but Papa is doing a good job," Roy answered, as Ed took a glob of shampoo and worked it into Sara's hair. Ed looked at her, made a face, and then started sculpting shapes out of the sudsy mass. Grabbing a mirror, he showed it to her and she shrieked laughter.

"Papa is funny! Mama! Can you do this later?"

Roy laughed. "Sure, when my wrist is better."

Ed made a face, and stroked his pretend beard. "I don't know about that… see, your Mama just doesn't have my sense of style. I'll probably have to teach her."

Sara nodded. "Have to teach her."

Roy rolled her eye… and left the most traumatic part of the bath to Ed- which was rinsing out Sara's hair.

"No! Papa! No!"

Ed nearly stopped; looking like someone had kicked him in the gut. "Sara, what's wrong?"

"No, no no!"

"She hates water being poured on her head- she's afraid that soap will in her eyes," Roy sighed, and knelt beside Ed. "Sara- if I cover your eyes, and Papa pours the water, will you be okay?"

"No!"

Ed went silent for a moment, before leaning in. "Do you remember the brave prince?"

This was not a tactic Sara had expected, and was sufficiently sidetracked that the tears and hysteria slowed. "Yeah?"

"You remember that he did things that scared him, right?"

Sniffing, Sara nodded.

"So, we're here with you, like the knight was with the prince. We can keep the water from getting in your eyes, but you got to be brave too. You can be brave for Mama and Papa, right?"

Sara took this into consideration for a moment, clearly in deep thought as she kicked her legs and stuck out her bottom lip- before grabbing Mama's hand and putting it over her eyes.

The trauma was over a few moments later as Ed finished pouring the water, and he lifted her out with a towel to rub her down.

"That worked," Roy mumbled, amazed. That was one of the worst things about bath times.

"I just pointed something out to her, that's all," Ed replied, sounding smug. He put her down, leaning over because Roy was still kneeling on the floor. "And… I need to thank you." Edward had a flush on his face, embarrassed as he looked away briefly, but turned back earnestly. "She's beautiful. Even if she was a surprise, she's a wonderful gift. So…" He leaned over a moment, brushing his lips against Mustang's. "Thank you."

Roy swayed backwards, inhaling, and then steadied.

"Edward."

His voice was soft. "Yes?"

"Catch her."

Edward turned, whipping around in time to see the towel drop and Sara go running down the hall.

"I've got a naked buuuuutttt!"

To be continued.


	6. Chapter 6

Reversed Cliché VI

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

Pairings: Roy and Ed, others mentioned

Warnings: Gender switch, post movie AU, fluff, angst, and now, with plot!

A/N: And now we get to what Hakuro did and why Hakuro is a bastard. Really, they will get to Risembool. Eventually.

_She could feel him, going soft, occasionally twitching his hips inside her. Her hands were on his back, tangling in his hair and he traced his fingers up and down her side, then up and over the swell of a breast, curious and light. He was draped on top of her, a dead weight as he relaxed completely, but he was light enough that it wasn't uncomfortable. Her own body was still occasionally pulsing, still gliding down to normal after climax. Her breathing had slowed, and she could feel his against her neck, lips pressed against her skin. The floor was cold, the air was too hot, and her legs were still tangled up with his. _

_It hadn't been great sex- both had been awkward, since it was his first time and she had no experience on this end of a vagina. Despite all that, despite the fact that it started out as a dare… it had turned into something else entirely. Not great, but… satisfying, for all that._

_She halted her thinking before it could go much further. She didn't need to be _thinking _right then, she just wanted to feel. She didn't want to think about all the reasons why and why not and why this had been a mistake. _

_If she survived, she would work this out. If she survived, she would figure out her own feelings. If she survived, she would deal with the consequences. _

_Not that she would. Even if she came out on the other end of assassinating the Fuhrer alive, she would not likely escape the military afterwards. To save her people she would have to give herself up anyways. But Hughes would be avenged and the country could move forward. That counted for something, right? _

_Ed was looking at her, and their eyes met briefly as he leaned over for a kiss. It was soft, brushing like butterfly wings, and more tender than this encounter warranted. It should have been rough and crude- Ed had turned this into lovemaking. _

_How the hell did he do it? He always took Roy's plans and…_

"_Did it hurt?" Ed asked, flushing a bit, and she nearly joined him. _

"_Not anymore." She could feel the sticky mix of fluids on her legs- blood and otherwise. _

_His hands were still on her body, curiously exploring and touching, his lips not quite on her skin. Her hands did the same, feeling the lines of his muscle, bone and automail, wanting something to carry with her when she reached the end._

_End she would. She didn't want to think about-_

"_Come back," Ed said, slowly pulling out. He had tried to be careful with her, even with his youth and inexperience. One day he would be a magnificent lover- just not today. "I will if you will. Equivalent exchange, okay?"_

_She wondered if he knew what he was implying with that statement. Would she come back for him?_

"_If you do, I will."_

_He frowned. "Come back for yourself- dying just because you're afraid to live is stupid."_

"_Then come back and remind me. You've got Al to live for, you know." _

_Ed sat up, giving her the strangest look. "If I could give you something to live for, I would. But that's not my job, it's yours." He lightly touched her face. "Just- don't forget that. Okay?"_

_Roy paused, looking at him, and smiling faintly as they stood, dressed. "I envy the girl you'll marry. Hopefully you won't mind that I broke you in first."_

_Ed gave a full out flush this time, putting his hands on her shoulders and pulling her down. _

"_I doubt it," he answered, brushing their lips together again._

* * *

_Roy narrowed her eye, inching out of the bed, away from the sated man sleeping obliviously behind her. _

_A woman's uniform- a secretary's, with the insignia of a private- was strewn across the floor, and Roy winced as she leaned down to gather up the lacy, feminine underclothes. The only thing that had not been dictated by Hakuro was the nursing bra._

_Closing her eye, she told herself she wasn't thinking of Ed when Hakuro touched her. That she didn't imagine clumsy touches instead of graceless pawing. She told herself she didn't miss him, either. _

_She ached all over._

_Her hands shook as she pulled up the stockings, fastened her blue skirt. Her eye patch was still firmly covering her scars, because he didn't want to see it._

_Tonight was the last time. She had lost her dignity, her sense of self, and her body in exchange for her life and the freedom of her soldiers. _

_Tomorrow she was going to her new outpost. It would be quiet there. Just her, and Sara._

_She didn't look back, leaving the man behind her, moving forward as best she could on shaky legs._

* * *

Roy woke up the next morning, underneath a puddle of two girls and a dog. Sara had always shared a bed with her (even if there had been room for another bed in the guard shack, sharing body heat was often a necessity) and Sara didn't want to be apart from Elysia, so she of course had to come as well. Bradley didn't want to be left out, and despite Roy's fervent wish otherwise, had jumped up to sleep on their feet.

She was neatly trapped, but that didn't stop her from moving when she heard a chuckle at the door. Ed was standing there, a goofy smile plastered over his face as he took in the sleeping pile. Sara, she knew, slept like the dead. Bradley didn't count, and Elysia slept on her other side. She managed to get off the bed and turn around, lifting an eyebrow at Ed's toothy grin.

The grin fell from his face, eyes going wide for a moment before he tried to staple it back in place. Roy blinked, wondering what could have caused _that_, before looking down to see if her shirt had gapped open.

Obviously it wasn't that.

Her hand went up- and remembered she had taken off her eye patch.

Sara wasn't scared of her eye anymore, and hadn't been for a long time. Elysia had been there when she was recovering and truly didn't care- and no one had asked Bradley.

Her fingers went over the thick ridges of tissue, to skirt the dented, empty eye socket, before groping for her patch. She reached to put it back on, and a cold hand stopped her.

The false smile had disappeared from Ed's face as he took the patch, pressing his lips together. She twisted her head and put her palm over the maimed side of her face.

Ed made a small sound, not quite a sigh, before tugging her hand down with his automail.

Emotions flickered, one after another, as his real hand went up to touch the nerveless skin. She thought she read revulsion on his face, before throttling full force into guilt and no little anger, before drifting back into guilt again. No pity- she didn't think she could have handled pity.

He opened his mouth, and then shook his head, gripping her good wrist and tugging her quickly out of the room.

_It wasn't Ed there it was someone else grabbing her and no not again and-_

Without thinking she twisted her wrist free, feet digging in and not seeing _anything_ for that moment as memory briefly reared its ugly head.

Ed jerked, nearly falling over and whirled. Whatever he saw made him pale, briefly turning grim before his expression gentled. Pausing, he forced a smile and offered his open hand.

"I made breakfast, and thought you might want to eat before the girls get up."

Roy inhaled, feeling strangely naked without her eye patch and with whatever Ed had seen, and nodded. Then she hesitated, before cautiously put her hand in Ed's. His fingers lightly wrapped around hers, leading this time instead of pulling.

"You didn't tell me about what happened with the Fuhrer," Ed asked as they tromped down the stairs. He wasn't looking at her face as he spoke, but he tightened his grip on her hand. "Why'd you let him get so close to take out your eye?"

"It wasn't him. I'd already killed Bradley when I lost my eye."

The kitchen table was set with bread and jam, sliced ham and eggs, some fruit and cheese. Coffee was perking on the stove. It was far more than Mustang would ever consider eating herself, but Edward had already led her to the table and pulled out a chair. She sat down, bemused as she stared at the table.

"How'd that happen? You can tell me while you eat," Ed ordered, sitting down across from her and taking a plate and filling it, and put it in front of her. She stared a little more.

"I can't eat all that."

"Yes, you can. You are too damn skinny, Mustang. Tell me what happened after you left." His eyes narrowed, before he closed them to collect himself. "Please."

Roy reached for the coffee, taking a sip- and to her surprise, it was drinkable. Not the best (it tasted like colored water) but it was still coffee. "Archer showed up, half automail. My gloves had been shredded and I was barely able to hold on to the boy…" She trailed off, exhaling. "Somehow he missed. I remember walking out, holding the boy, and looking up. There he was and- after that I woke up in the hospital."

Ed swallowed a bite of eggs. "The boy?"

"Bradley's son. He killed him, snapped his neck because he had brought in that skull. Whatever that skull was, it saved my life," Roy mumbled, looking down to find meaning in her plate. The rest of the story came out mechanically, without any real order. She spoke of getting stabbed in the shoulder, watching the boy's eyes go dark after the sound of breaking bone, how the Fuhrer had insisted on facing her alone.

Ed watched, continuing to eat and prodding Roy to do the same. The tale wound to her recovery and eventually moving in with Gracia to hide, and she stopped there. She left out the confusion that she was alive. The despair and apathy, when she found out Ed wasn't coming back and that Al was alive but without his memory. Finally accepting and coping with her female body again and the ambiguity that came with reconciling the past and the present and that she still couldn't put it to bed entirely.

"Mama" had been a role she could put on at times, one she could hide in when "Roy Mustang" was a watery shadow.

That was another kettle of fish she had yet to open. Hopefully not…

"And you? Where the hell have you been all this time?" Roy asked, plucking the eye patch out of Ed's hands and fixing it back on her face. Ed squirmed, frowning at her face, and then looked away.

"You know I went to another world, and had to shut the Gate- the Gate of Truth, or whatever it's called," Ed began, playing with his fork and not looking at her. "I had to go and fix an old mistake."

She sighed. In anyone else, she would have been mad. But this was _Ed, _who had more of a guilt complex than she did. Silence settled like a heavy, smelly blanket and eating came to a halt.

"Did you?"

Edward looked up, and then closed his eyes. "No. Yes. It's hard to explain."

"Then start at the beginning."

Predictably, Ed glared. Yet the blanket was cast off, and he began, with arriving on the other side of the Gate. He described a world without alchemy, where another science ran the world. It had given birth to flying machines and weapons out of nightmares. Yet somehow, something of their world had managed to get there. He spoke of the other Alphonse, of meeting people who looked alike and yet unlike the ones he knew here.

There were obvious holes in his story- he mentioned the doppelgangers but never said who they were. He mentioned his old mistake, but not exactly what it was. He didn't say how the airships had arrived in this world, nor the most important part.

"How did you get home again?"

Ed's lips thinned. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"I've just listened to you tell me about another universe through a Gate I've never seen. This is from my former subordinate who fathered my child and I used to be a man. Try me."

Roy's answer was a deep, shaky breath, and his hands clenched. "There are some things you _can_ get, if you are willing to pay the price. Al and I… paid it."

Her eye widened.

"You aren't saying that Al's dead?"

"No. Al's fine. We paid with," Ed shuddered, closing his eyes, and trying to shut out the memory of whatever it was. "With something else. It was… enough."

Ed was pale, so very pale, and his eyes were clenched shut still- but they snapped open again to look at Roy's long fingers gripping his.

"Welcome home, Ed."

Ed lifted his eyes, finding Roy's, and his lips curved upwards.

"Yeah, I am."

* * *

Ed hadn't intended to get this emotional about what had happened to get him back to his own world. He had never intended to let him know the price- which he hadn't, yet- or how badly it had bothered him. Yet the most important part, that he was still in pain about it, had slipped out without his say so.

Here he had wanted to be the strong one and the bastard had shown him up with nothing but a touch.

Then again, he had seen her pain, and Ed wanted to growl. But the past was behind him and now…

He had a date to get ready for.

He had a date. That night. With Roy Mustang.

Who was looking at him with concern in her eye and still touching his clenched hands. "Come on, you're still too skinny. Eat a few more bites."

"Ed, I haven't eaten this much since I was pregnant," she said, lifting an eyebrow. "I'll get sick."

"You're not healthy," Ed retorted. She shrugged.

"I haven't been for a long time."

"Not anymore," he answered, fiercely. Mustang tilted her head.

"Why?"

"You're too skinny-"

"No. _Why?_" He understood what she meant. All of it.

"My dad walked out on my mom and Al and me," Ed finally said. "I understand why he did what he did now, but I don't want to do the same."

"You're just taking responsibility?"

Ed tilted his head to the side, eyes moving up and down from her face, dancing eye, pale smooth skin and coal black hair, and, ah, more generous proportions. Roy had been beautiful as a man and was still elegant as a woman. "No." He took her hand in both of his. "Not just that."

It was a line worthy of a younger, more suave and male Roy Mustang. It also had the intended effect- Roy chuckled, a faint blush on her cheeks.

Ed _liked_ that.

"Good," Roy answered. "Because." And she gave him much the same look. "I like blonds."

* * *

The day had crawled by, but there didn't seem to be enough time. Most of the pre-date rituals that Roy was used to didn't apply and she was left swinging in the wind. There was no buying flowers, no quick shave and splash of cologne, no arranging his hair to look just _so._ His uniform had always been appropriate and his dates didn't really matter.

This one did. This one mattered a lot.

For the life of her, she couldn't get her feelings straight on this one. It was Ed, and Richard and Gracia had told her that she needed to stop pining for him. She had _missed_ him, but pining… Maybe so, maybe no? Here he was, back, and… She had no idea what to do. The old rules of their relationship didn't apply. She certainly couldn't be his commander anymore. They hadn't quite been friends. They had mutually respected each other- at times. She had been fond of Ed, even if she could have never said so openly. Still, there had been an uneasy intimacy between them, both knowing the other's secret.

Where did that leave them now? Part of her was wondering if it would be best to scare him away _now_ before Sara became so attached that there was no chance of letting go- but that idea was truly out. He was going to be part of her life from here on, stubborn brat that he was. She didn't want him out of pity.

That implied… what, for tonight? Ed had grown into a beautiful man, and…

She sat down on her bed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "What would you say, Hughes? You were always better at this kind of thing than I was," she muttered, wincing when her wrist ached, reminding her that she hadn't totally healed yet.

Hughes didn't answer, but he never really did.

Ed looked good as an adult.

"You're not getting ready?"

Roy sat up, eyeing a grinning, too innocent Gracia. She was carrying several things. Several small things. Small, colorful things.

"I've still got two hours," Roy said, suddenly wary. Gracia was also holding a garment bag.

"That's not nearly enough time," she said, smirking.

Roy winced.

* * *

It was taking too long.

Ed had heard something like this, that women usually took a long time to get ready- but Roy had been a man long enough- in the _military _long enough- that she _should_ value being on time, right? What was taking so long?

Ed did a last minute check on himself- flowers, check. Money for food, (the important part) check. He had already gotten tickets to the museum (trading on the fame of the Fullmetal Alchemist). He hoped Roy liked carnations.

Geeze, she was still up there. What the hell was Roy-

"I don't want to wear it, Gracia," Ed could hear.

There was a grunt and a sigh from the other woman, from somewhere nearby. "You're going on a _date._ Besides, you look cute wearing it-"

"Even when I was a child I rarely wore skirts," Roy answered testily. "I didn't even wear them to the doctor, remember?"

"Still, for a first date-"

"_He_ had me wear them."

Silence blanketed itself over the room, making Edward frown. He didn't know who _he_ was, and Ed wasn't sure… but he could take an educated guess. Frankly he didn't really care what she wore… Hell, it wasn't like he knew anything about what a woman wore on a date. He was just mad that someone had…

He had asked her on a date in a fit of pique, because she had insinuated that he had never been… and she was right… And things had seemed right, between them. They were afloat, none of the old rules and habits applied, and…

"Papa, what's going on?"

There was his face, painted in black and pale, looking up at him.

"General Mama's getting ready for a date," he whispered, putting his finger over his lips.

"What's a date?"

"A date is…" Well, Ed wasn't entirely sure what to tell her. "When two people like each other, they go out and, um… play, have fun? Something like that," he answered, scratching his head. Having fun with Mustang seemed like a strange concept.

Oh, what the hell was he doing?

"Can I go out on a date with Elysia then?"

Ed, jolted out of his train of thought, blinked down at her. "Uh…"

"What's going on?"

Ed looked up. Roy was standing there, door open, dressed in a form fitting button down blouse and tailored trousers. She looked nice. She even had earrings.

Gracia cleared her throat when the silence stretched on too long.

"Er, right. Sara asked if she could go on a date with Elysia," Ed answered, looking Roy up and down unabashedly. Very female, yup, but still Roy. For some reason that made the fact that Ed liked looking at her somehow… quite strange.

They were going to have to work this out somehow. Soon. Before Ed spontaneously combusted. This situation was just so damn _weird._

"Only when you are old enough to drive, young lady," Roy looked down at her offspring.

She was wearing makeup.

This was Roy Mustang… Ed shouldn't be feeling like a love struck calf. He shouldn't. Really; Winry was prettier with a larger chest as well as his childhood friend and Noah was dark and sultry and teasing. Both had shown interest in him and here he was…

"But we go out and play a lot- isn't that a date?"

"People usually kiss on dates. Do you want to kiss Elysia?"

"You want to kiss Papa?"

Ed realized he still had the carnations in one hand. He shoved them in Roy's general direction, because he didn't want to hear her answer. "All right, we need to be going, bye!" he shouted, heading towards the door before Roy could say a word.

The door slammed behind him, and he didn't want to look up when he felt a presence beside him.

"Are you going to offer me your arm?" Roy asked from somewhere behind him. "If you won't, you can take mine."

Ed wondered what had changed between them, other than everything. In the end, it was nothing at all. Offering his arm, they walked down the steps and away.

To be continued.


	7. Chapter 7

**Reversed Cliché VII**

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does not belong to me and I make no money from this work of fanfiction at all.

Pairings: Roy and Ed, others mentioned.

Warnings: Genderswitch, AU, post Disjointed Portrayal.

Of course she would be here.

_Of course, up until that moment it had never occurred to Edward that he would see her here._

_The moment had caught him off guard- a rare moment of contentment in this gray world that he had finally embraced. The washed-out sun was warm on his back as he sat outside one of the smaller cafés on a spring-decorated street in Paris. Noah and Al were talking, joking cheerfully as they enjoyed a moment away from their search. The food was cheap and good, the smell of the bakery heady as they had a quick breakfast and they enjoyed a third cup of coffee before they left._

_There was a flash of white out of the corner of his eye, the movement getting his attention as much as the color as he glanced over to find the source. _

_Of course she would be here…_

_The sun was still on his skin, but it no longer warmed him. His heart went still as the rest of him. He had tried not to think much about her… awake. Yet his dreams had begun to remind him, and even when Noah had offered, the one and only kiss had felt somehow lacking. Oh, he had enjoyed it, and had almost wanted more… but it still wasn't _her.

_She seemed to pull the light to her, smiling flirtatiously with her hand lightly on the arm of the gray- haired man who faded into the shadows beside her. Her clothes were elegant and fashionable, black hair and eyes in contrast to the white and gray of her skirt and blouse. Her hair was fashionably bobbed with just a bit of wave put in as she moved with languid grace. She was beautiful as a vision and just as unreal._

_Somehow, it had never occurred to him that the Roy Mustang of this universe would be a woman. _

_The last time he had seen her had been aboard that airship- and he had nearly ignored her, instead focusing on Al and that he would have to give up on the dream of returning to his home. He ignored the fact that he had taken in every detail from her haggard face and the eye patch, and to the corporal's insignia on her shoulders._

_This woman had on blush. Her face was too full and healthy and her lips were too red. The expression was too vapid as she smiled at the gray haired Hakuro look-alike, turning and smiling brilliantly when a child suddenly appeared and ran to her with a shriek of delight. The man and woman laughed. _

_Nothing there at all of the Colonel and General he had looked up to and of the woman he had been… _

_He wanted to be happy that this version of Mustang, at least, hadn't gone through the same pain as his Mustang had. Yet when the woman glanced his way there was nothing, and Ed was just another face in the crowd._

_He told himself to be relieved. There wasn't enough of the Mustang he knew to make him really miss-_

_Then she flicked her eyes up at the man she was with, and Ed saw cool calculation in those previously empty eyes. And Ed knew exactly what Mustang would have been like if she had been a woman her whole life._

_He tore his eyes away._

* * *

"So… you hungry?"

Roy flicked her eyes back to Ed, tilting her head to the side as he offered his arm, which she took, feeling awkward and amused. Dating was a dance where most people knew the steps by rote. Yet Roy had never taken the female part and Edward… well, Edward didn't even know they were dancing.

To Roy's surprise and eternal amusement, Havoc had been recruited to drive them to the museum. Gracia, it seemed, still had mysterious powers.

The blond man had left them with a smile and a wave, saying he had his own date to get to and Roy, correctly, assumed that he had been invited over to play with Sara while they were gone. He didn't say a word to Ed, but gave the younger man a _look_ that said they would have words later. Roy had never told anyone who Sara's father was… but just _looking_ at them would give that away.

"No, not yet. Why? Are you getting hungry now?"

Edward shrugged, using her arm to steer her to the ticket desk with the subtlety of a tugboat. She couldn't help but keep watching him- it vaguely astonished her how _beautiful_ he had grown up to be.

She wasn't the only one to notice. The poor girl at the ticket counter was half swooning over Ed. (It was even more amusing to notice that the girl then swooned over her. Roy decided she didn't want to know.) There were a few people who had glanced their way, and had frowned in disapproval of the older woman with the younger man, and that made Roy want to wince.

If she was still in her male body, people probably wouldn't be looking at them so strangely. Of course, they wouldn't have gone out on a date in any case. If she were still male…

That was something she truly didn't want to think about. Edward had been attractive even then, but she'd had no idea which directions he swung in… even if she did go both ways. For a teenage boy, he had been remarkably… well… asexual. The only indication that he had been a human instead of a block of ice was a few strange conversations and, of course, Sara.

She shied away from that thought. What exactly did Edward want out of this? The looks he had been throwing at her indicated interest, and he adored Sara… but…

She absently rubbed the side of her head, beneath her eye patch. What the hell did _she_ want? Why was she getting so introspective? This was supposed to be fun, right? Why was she taking this so seriously?

One of the things she had enjoyed about being male was the dance. Courtship, seduction of both sexes and then conquering another had been a game to her. She had never had to consider getting in the family way before- for one thing, she was completely sterile as a man. For another, her guilt from the past consumed her to the point where she had completely given up on the idea of a long term relationship.

Suddenly she was _certainly_ in the family way, she no longer had any driving goals beyond protecting her daughter and sex was something she had to think about. Think about _carefully,_ something her dirty deal with Hakuro had taught her and still stayed with her to this day.

A small shudder went through her. That particular bastard hadn't even considered birth control…

"You okay?"

There was a hand on her elbow and she looked over at Ed, wishing briefly that he had been this age when she could have _had_ his ass.

Not that his cock hadn't felt good…

"Yes, of course," she said, trying not to sound too rueful. At least she was at the silly-confused part. She no longer had worries over who was looking at her in the mirror anymore.

Ed offered his arm again, looking hesitant and a bit confused and not to mention just plain adorable like that and…

It wasn't fair. None of it was. The strange looks they were getting, the hesitation over what to do.

"I was just thinking, that I wished you could be five years older and I was five years younger," she mused, glancing down to see Ed's reaction. "Might make things a bit more interesting.

"Whatever, General Mama." Ed rolled his eyes. "You'd still be…" He trailed off, and Roy stopped her contemplation of Ed's outline to look up. There was a fairly large crowd moving through, all of them well dressed.

"Huh." Ed had picked up a flyer from the visitor desk and leafed through it. "I guess they're having a fundraiser tonight. Didn't think to check."

"Or something," Roy murmured. "They are open later than usual tonight. I guess they need a reason."

Neither thought much of it, before Ed's enthusiasm for all things alchemic and scientific sparked, and he was pulling her from exhibit to exhibit like a child and giving commentary like a jaded professor.

"And here's- wait, that's not it… God damn, that didn't happen then! I-Wait a minute-"

His attention was thoroughly absorbed as he argued with the small plaque beside the display. His face was amusing to watch- there had been _reasons _she had loved to get him fired up- while he pounded on the glass, causing Roy to blink mildly. She examined the plaque herself.

"I don't think it really matters, Ed, exactly _when_ the alchemic modifications used on car engines were developed. I think most people care just that they work."

"This is a reputable museum!" the young man protested, his cowlick waving in the air and seemingly all the more agitated. "If they can't be bothered to keep their facts checked- we paid good money to get in here!"

"No, we-"

"I'm going to go find that bloody curator and tell him to fix it! Right now!" Ed growled, whirling around and stomping off with steam coming out of his ears. It didn't occur to either of them that, as a date, Roy should be following instead of womanfully covering her mouth to hold in her mirth as Ed stomped off, or that they were enjoying the brief return to years past, even if the situation was wildly different, both of them being in the same building while Ed threw a completely irrelevant tantrum was…

Some things would truly never change, Roy thought, still hiding her toothy smile before dropping her hand and assuming a more stoic expression that befitted her superior rank and experience.

Ed baiting just had to become a legal sport.

She watched him turn a corner, disappearing behind another display as she went back to looking at the one that had Ed so riled up. It was simple- a brief history of the steam engine and the alchemy that had been used to help create it… She blinked, tilting her head to the side. As far as she knew, it was completely accurate.

She stepped away- Ed could find her, she wasn't going far- and let her eye glance over the signs and smaller displays that she had missed while Ed-watching. (Another hobby that should become a sport.) Her mood lightened, and she took the time to enjoy the history of the science she loved so much.

She wandered down the marble-clad hall, feet tapping lightly on the stone floor as she looked at the signs, watching as the different areas blended together. She was at the junction of the biological, medical and alchemic science section, and predictably headed towards the last.

The alchemy display had been updated since she had last been there, in her academy days. She passed by a glass case with small, unimpressive chimeras (and wouldn't they love to know exactly how far _that_ had progressed) into more technologies that had been enhanced by alchemy, and then finally…

The crowd they had been meandering behind had stopped in what looked to be the temporary exhibit hall and voices were rising as she approached. Most of the people were dressed well, not in tuxes and gowns but in elegant casual clothes that could have been at least as expensive as formal wear. It seemed that they were arrayed around a speaker, someone Roy didn't recognize. Not knowing didn't surprise her, but she grimaced when she saw the title of the new display.

"The State Alchemists and their contributions," she muttered, snorting in disgust. She could recognize propaganda when she saw it. There was little but the positive contributions that the purely academic alchemists had made- the ones specially trained to be used as weapons were barely mentioned.

She drifted over the displays, becoming engrossed as she tried to find people she knew- Marco was there, because he had, indeed, helped with medical alchemy- and Kimblee, of course, for _dying for his country_… She was not mention. Armstrong was only there because of the Many Alchemists of the Armstrong Family Helping with the Country. (That was amusing, and she thought for a moment she saw pink sparkles hovering over that particular display.)

Fullmetal had once had a huge following- which should mean he would be around here… and she smiled when she found his display. It was a genuine smile, one that was unclouded by any jealousy, and there was more than a little pride there. Ed had been _good_ for this country… She almost chuckled, remembering the mess that had happened after his disappearance, and how the politicians had quickly cleared him of wrong doing once the truth about Lior came to light. Not the entire truth, that wasn't anything the public would truly know… but it was enough that the fame of the Fullmetal Alchemist still be remembered…

Following the display into an alcove, she quirked her lips as she skimmed over a framed newspaper article about one of Ed's exploits. Nostalgia held her still, memories of a very different time and a completely different life slipping by.

It held her a moment too long.

"Enjoying the new exhibit?" warm lips brushed her ear and she held back her jerk of surprise. The body was taller- certainly not Ed- and she shuddered as large hands splayed themselves familiarly around her waist, moving downwards.

It had been over a year, more, since she had heard that voice. Her heart raced as her skin went cold, swallowing hard as old fears welled back up.

"It's a bit biased, but that's politics for you," she managed in a level voice, refusing to let it crack when his hands continued to move over her body. "Half truths bending the actual events to the point they aren't recognizable."

"The truth? Well, you'll notice that a freak like you is not mentioned at all."

"And what would you know about the truth, General?" she murmured, locking her jaw as one hand moved around to her ass, the other moving up to cup one breast. "Including that you are forgetting the truth that we are in public."

"So formal, _Renee_? You certainly weren't the last time we spoke."

Horny _bastard. _The deathly cold on her skin warmed with a flush of anger when Hakuro gave to squeeze..

"Roy," she corrected, softly. Fear tried yelling in her ear, telling her to have some sense, but it wasn't like she had much left to lose. "My name is still Roy."

Hakuro snorted. "And what are you doing here, Roy?"

That bastard was too stupid to realize this could ruin him if he did anything and was caught. She could scream and he would be in court proceedings for the rest of his life, if she didn't care about getting dragged through the mud with him- which she did. The fear completely gave way to anger.

"I'm on medical leave, General. I was injured in the line of duty and was able to take six weeks off-"

"You look fine to me," Hakuro asked. She could feel his breath on her neck. "Well enough that you could meet me later tonight."

She did twitch, then, barely holding on to her revulsion before twisting to stare at him without expression. "General, any agreement between us has been satisfied. I have my own plans for the evening and they do not include you."

"I don't recall ever saying that," he leered down at her, and she saw that he was dressed for the evening in sports jacket and tie. "You are here, that should make you… available."

There was movement out of the corner of her eye, a flash of gold, and Edward was standing there turning a brilliant shade of red, baring his teeth to come charging in. That was something she had to prevent; it would totally ruin the evening if Ed was arrested for homicide.

"No," she said firmly, mustering up her old authority. Male, female, it didn't matter- she had earned respect from her soldiers in a way that Hakuro could not- and he couldn't take that from her. Sara would be all right now. "I believe this conversation is over, General."

"Listen, you!" he growled, bristling at her tone as he grabbed her wrists to shove her against a wall. His hand squeezed her healing arm, pain crackling down her arm and making Roy's vision gray briefly.

Yet it was nothing compared to her eye, or childbirth.

"Calm down, General. You won't do a damn thing unless you want to claim the bastard," she hissed, blinking to clear the tears of pain. "And if I scream you'll have one hell of an explanation to make."

That was enough to snap him out of it, making him drop her arms as Ed decided _now_ was the time to be chivalrous. She glared, shaking her head, and Hakuro noticed that she wasn't looking at him.

Turning, the General's jaw dropped, seeing the not-so-towering rage of the Fullmetal Alchemist bent on him.

"Care to explain why you are manhandling the lady, Hakuro?" Ed asked through bared teeth. His fists were clenched, muscles tense as he was about to fly at the taller man. "Not proper conduct for a General."

Hakuro was still dumbfounded. "Fullmetal Alchemist? I heard that you were-"

"Give me one good reason not to pound your face in right now, you son of a bitch." Ed would not be deterred.

"Ed, calm down. He was about to let me go," Roy interjected quickly. "Wasn't that right, General? We really wouldn't want to get the newly returned Fullmetal Alchemist angry, would we?"

Hakuro straightened; eyebrows furrowed as Ed stepped in, deciding at exactly the wrong time to be a gentleman and put his arm around Roy's waist to help steady her.

At another time it would have been sweet and she would have welcomed it as cute and endearing- but not now.

"So your plans for tonight include fucking the Fullmetal Alchemist, Roy?" Hakuro sneered. "How long have you been spreading for him?" His tone turned vicious. "Disgusting. But the bastard could just as easily be his." The sneer turned into a smirk. "I'll see you in the usual place then."

Without another word, he turned and left, disappearing into the crowd. Edward nearly leapt after him.

"Don't, Ed," she muttered, covering her face with one hand. "God, why did you have to decide to do that now- I could have _handled_ him."

"Not from where I was standing, you couldn't- why didn't you wait for me! I was going to come right back. That asshole was touching you! And what did he mean, the bastard would be mine? If he was talking about Sara, and I am going to _rip his-_"

"Ed, the one time I could get him to leave me alone when we had our deal was telling him I was on fertile," she cut him off. "He didn't want mistakes- any mistakes. He didn't like having me while I was bleeding, either. I told him it was that time of the month, is all. He seemed to think we're together so it wouldn't matter."

"Oh." Ed's eyes widened. "_Oh._" Rage again colored his face, and Roy had to grab his pony tail to keep him from charging off again. "And that bastard wanted- he _wanted-_"

"Ed, _calm down_. If you haven't learned that charging off half cocked gets you in trouble by now then you haven't grown up as much as I thought," she snapped, making Ed pause, whirl around and open his mouth…

Only to shut it again, exhaling and taking a deep breath, and straightening slowly. Watching that made Roy's eyebrows shoot up. The look of, well, relief on his face also made her jaw go slack.

"You're still you," he muttered, shaking his head. "Good. But I still think he needs a pounding."

"He may, but this is a bad place for it," she retorted. "I think we had better leave, post haste. It would be a bad idea for us to stay for much longer."

Ed nodded, and put his arm back around her waist.

She didn't stop him- there was no point, because part of her liked the obvious display of affection- but it still made her feel strange and out of place.

"Are you?"

"Hm?" The question interrupted her thoughts about his arm there.

"Um… you know, well… er…"

"What?"

Ed then proceeded to flush red and mumbled.

"Spit it out."

"Like what you told Hakuro. On that part of your cycle."

Roy blinked, tilting her head to the side. "No. I told him that so he would leave me alone. I shouldn't be for another week at least."

Ed turned away, attempting to be cool about it… before Roy blinked, and started to snicker.

"Tell me Ed, do you have something else planned for the night?"

"What?" Edward looked up, genuinely startled, but still red faced, before his eyes widened and he looked away again. "No. Not tonight. Um…"

Roy's mind blanked, heart lurching briefly and not even able to tease him about his nervousness. It wasn't… it was _Ed, _who certainly wouldn't hurt her, not about this. He just didn't have it in him.

She frowned briefly, closing her eye and blanking her mind. Ed… wouldn't. She knew that. She knew he was a good man, always had been, and…

His arm around her waist was directly her feet towards the door, before stopping and she felt smooth, cool metal on her face.

"Are you all right?" Ed asked, and Roy looked down at his concerned face. "We can go back to Gracia's if you aren't."

Roy shook her head. "I'll be fine. The night is still young, and I can think of a couple of places we can go. Shall we?"

Ed's face lit up- she wondered what he had been thinking- and they left, the large doors of the museum swinging behind them.

To be continued.


End file.
